III.1. Chuang-tse on the Academy vs. the
Cafs. While sitting on the banks of the Hsien
& Lan River, Chuang-tse was approached by two representatives of the Prince
of Ch'u, who offered him a position at court. Chuang-tse watched the water flowing by as if he had not
heard. Finally, he remarked,
"I am told that the Prince has a sacred tortoise, over two thousand years
old, which is kept in a box, wrapped in silk and brocade." "That is
true," the officials replied.
"If the tortoise had been given a choice," Chuang-tse
continued, "which do you think he would have liked better--to have been
alive in the mud, or dead within the palace?" "To have been alive in the mud, of course," the
man answered. "I too prefer
the mud," said Chuang-tse.
"Good-bye."
Der bermensch. --He is already with us. He blows his nose in aluminum foil and
scoffs at our idle caf chatter.
--Thom Smit,
Maxims for Morons
III.2. Diogenes on the Academy vs. the
Cafs. --Here follows a text in Greek-- ... -- [This bit about the--several words quoted in Greek--makes me think of my friend
Abraham in Vera Cruz, who wrote me the following of a neurosis that descended
upon him in the course of his studies in that disreputable town: "...I
began to be belabored by the most ridiculous delusions. I felt the city was collapsing around
me, and that only my own personal mystical studies could hold it together. I would study at the caf by the
cathedral where we had our last talk.
The world I was beginning to glimpse through my studies was under siege
by the criminal element in Vera Cruz: they were on to me. One waiter there, particularly
deferential, would smile at me with his silver teeth. I was not to write certain things. The structure of my soul was becoming one with the structure
of the crime that infested Vera Cruz and simultaneously with the structure of a
nascent mystical insight. It was
at this point that I met Celestina at the apartment of Seor Rojas. The world glimpsed by me was under
attack by the criminals: they sought to shatter it before I could learn
more. Eventually the only way I
could hold it together was if I kissed Celestina's neck the right number of
times on certain days, and if I drank the right number of coffees on certain
days. But as my peril increased,
the numerology became confusing, leading to excess. And the waiter's smile grew more and more sinister, as he
became ever more deferential, mocking me behind his dirty silver teeth. The criminals' sexual intentions
concerning me were clear. I didn't
dare tell Celestina everything, but her neck was beginning to chap from my
hundreds of kisses, and her eyes perused me more and more suspiciously, full of
dread. I would go to the caf in
the morning and in the course of the day would order the precise number of
coffees needed to hold my body of mystical knowledge together. But the number--what was the right
number? I recognized the
importance of threes and multiples thereof, four however being somehow uncanny,
suggesting a sort of balanced femininity that was clearly threatening. Particularly threatening in that if I
didn't go on and drink the fifth coffee, the balance inherent in the four would
invade my being and upset the balance of the knowledge I had with such
difficulty acquired. This was just
what the criminal element and the waiter wanted, so that I noticed the waiter
always hesitated to bring me the fifth coffee, sometimes having recourse to
another waiter, and I would drink it ostentatiously. But often it felt that I didn't quite drink it correctly, my
swallows and movements didn't have the correct rhythmical sense, and so I had
to drink a sixth coffee, a multiple of three you know, which was doubtless
rather dangerous, being precisely two (or a couple: perhaps Celestina and myself) times three--and I didn't want to bring her
into it--and so I ordered and drank the seventh coffee, but seven is a number
with terrible power, the kabbalists and everyone has known it, and so the
eighth, TWO ROUNDED FOURS, then the ninth, three threes, the tenth, a number so
safe that there must be something wrong with it, something hidden, then the eleventh
coffee, two people standing but not touching, I then drank the twelfth, one
plus two equals three, thirteenth, oh!, the fourteenth coffee, my
birthday--January 14, 1956, the fifteenth coffee, and so on...." The sequel to poor Abraham's tale is
far too horrible to recount here, reminiscent, as it is, of Poe's Berenice.] --Here follows a second text
in Greek-- Puzzle for Sam Slote.
CULTURE AND SOVIET SOCIETY:
A MINI-SERIES
"EN-LIGHT-EN-MENT: FAILED WESTERN WEIGHT-LOSS
TECHNIQUE."
--telegram from anonymous "Coup" leader
[Lukyanov?] to Barbara Bush
III.3.1. Culture and Soviet Society Before the
"Coup":
"WE
HERE AT THE EUROPEAN WAY LIBERAL
REVIEW..."
It has come to our attention that the
Soviet Bolshoi Encyclopedia has neither an article on Freud in it nor an
article on the unconscious. We
bring this up only because it is one of the more glaring omissions, not because
it is in any sense the only omission.
Why do the Soviet encyclopedists shy away from the good Dr. Freud? The most obvious answer that comes to
mind is that the unconscious is by definition beyond state control, and that
the Soviets would not want to acknowledge the existence of anything beyond
state control. But we are being
unfair. An exile friend of ours
insists that there was indeed an article in the Soviet encyclopedia on
Freud. After reading it, however,
the Soviet editorial board decided to shred the article and use the shreds to
make the binding of volume "F".
Our exile friend comments: "They see this as their way of doing service
to Freud's idea of the unconscious, sort of keeping it in its place as an
absolute Other, as an unassimilable base of the more 'conscious' material
within the volume."
And it must be
true! We find that the state of
the collective Soviet psyche is to be seen in their very bindings. Grab hold of any volume of any Soviet
encyclopedia, and you will find that the bindings are so poorly made that when
you shake the book the pages go flying off in all directions.
Boris, our exile
friend, writes from Basel: "This loss of pages is doubtless what causes
the heaps of unsifted papers and piles of neglected documents that clutter the
basements and clog the air vents of any reputable Soviet library. And the clogged air vents are
themselves responsible for the oppressive heat of Soviet reading rooms in
summer and in the warmer republics.
One Soviet author insists that this musty heat makes reading an erotic
experience, as it should be, particularly if one is reading socialist-realist
summaries of ancient works describing Roman orgies or Saturnalia."--quoted
from The European Way Liberal Review, Jan. 33, 19--
III.3.2. Culture and Soviet Society During the
"Coup":
--SHOCK TROPES, or TANK BALLET
You just
can't find good coup leaders these days.
--Meg at the Caf
Throughout
the morning tanks and armored personnel carriers lumbered to critical
crossroads of the city, four of them spinning wildly in a circle outside the
Bolshoi Theater in a roaring display of force that left passers-by crying
"Shame!"--as quoted from the NYT, August 20, 1991
III.3.3. Culture and Soviet Society after the
"Coup":
--Yeltsin
Yeltsin
shows up drunk at the police station, mysteriously soaking wet, carrying a
ragged bouquet of flowers. This
giving him a more "human image."
Yeltsin chooses
economic plan for his platform without reading economic plan. Just sounds good.
Yeltsin signs peace
accords with California New Age Superpower.
Yeltsin seen selling
Whoppers from the nave of St. Basil's.
Gives proceeds to safe-sex efforts of Ukrainian nationalists.
Yeltsin, theorist of
the carnivalesque, does ads for Honda Spree with Lou Reed. Russian folk music and bread and salt.
Yeltsin condemns
hardline theoreticians and favors speedy popular theoretics as seen in Western
video.
Yeltsin donates his
scrotum to "popular" high school dissecting classes. Question of how he can donate one to
each school. Still offers to do so
on popular evening news show Vremya.
"Whatever it takes for the people!" heard to declare
heroically, waving gold-colored Western credit card like a little razor. --Findings not yet in.
III.6. Those who cannot look death in the face
will spend the whole of their lives looking him in the ass.
III.7. On the 12 of September, I began working
full-time at the caf, finally getting my hands on the espresso machines,
steaming the fresh, cold milk, scooping the powdered coffee out of its bucket
to make pot after pot all day and into the night. My cleanly clipped nails go home holding a thin line of
coffee dust to the tip of each finger.
My hands are getting callused from the hot water and the hot metal of
the machines. At eight or so free
cups a day, I am finally drinking a bit too much.
Five days after
starting work, I dreamt that Lenin's body had been stolen from its mausoleum
and was being hidden in the caf basement, still in its glass case but stood
upright against the wall. Why all
the Russian dreams lately? I'd
come downstairs to get something, in a fearful rush, and one of the greying men
down there who were steaming milk put his finger to his lips to indicate Shhh! then knowingly brought my attention
to what was behind the boxes of coffee machines he was moving. There, against the wall, was Vladimir
Ilyich in his glass case. The
upright position had forced his body forward so that his head was against the
glass. He didn't wink, but his forehead
didn't crumble either, and as the man moved the boxes back to their positions
covering the great revolutionary, some of the other men looked to me with pride
and solidarity, as if they were saying: "How bout that, kid? Eh? And you thought we were just down here steaming milk!"
III.9. If I want to imagine a fictive nation,
I can give it an invented name, treat it declaratively as a novelistic object,
create a new Garabagne, so as to compromise no real country by my love (though
it is then that love itself that I compromise by the signs of literature). I can also--though in no way claiming
to represent or to analyze reality itself (these being the major gestures of
writing even here in Madison)--isolate somewhere in the world (faraway ) a
certain number of features (a term employed in linguistics), and out of these
features deliberately form a system.
It is this system which I shall call: Medieval Europe, or, say, Russia.
III.10. Around the
day in eighty "wlds."
The world has lost its or.
The world as an army of metaphors, etc. Read the etc., which we can't. Either the world is dead, or its or is dead. We no longer have the either/or. So the world is dead. Around the day in eighty
"wds." Eight wds. Six.
III.11. Clearly
Chuang-tze did not really dream he was a butterfly. He made it up. Poiesis, the Greek word for poetry, is also
the Greek word for making. Are
philosophers poets? Or vice
versa? An old question of great
importance.
But it is true that after reading Chuang-tze I was led to have a similar
dream. I dreamt I was an
earthworm, driven out of the ground by a heavy rain. And like many such earthworms in our paved "world,"
I was forced to squirm across a wet, oil-slicked street, hearing the
Apocalyptic roar of cars as they flew over me like gods, aware that I may be
destroyed at any time.
And since I woke up I have never been sure that I wasn't just such a
stranded earthworm dreaming I was a Western writer.
III.12. The world--it
is really a massive auto accident.
When I was younger, nuclear weapons made me fear the end of the
world. Now I just laugh.
We
get our kicks listening to the last shards of glass tinkle to a slow-motion
halt on the cement.
III.14.
Oh, Golden Years!
I grew up in a neo-colonial
pseudo-mansion on a huge landfill hill.
The farmer kids in the valley called it the White House. And indeed, it looked quite a bit like
the White House. More so even than
the White House itself! --A
visitor from a distant land, you approach the front door with the brass eagle
knocker, noticing that the paint is peeling from the post-Ionic columns. --"Huh?" --Grasping a piece, you realize it is
latex paint. --Grinning a bit
nauseously, you start to peel it off in strips, longer and longer strips,
revealing the grey metal underneath.
--You rap on the columns, and find they are made of hollow aluminum
siding. --"Rat tat tat,"
rings the land you suddenly find yourself in. "Rat tat."
i.
Oh, the fond memories of my youth! Idyllic age! Sylvan
youth!
I
used to shoot chipmunks with my pellet gun. Robins, squirrels, and gophers. Once even a golfer. [1]
I was a regular St. Julien Hospitalier.
ii.
Oh, innocence! Oh,
our pure and shining brows!
We
were twelve. I showed her mine. She showed me hers. Finally I tried to put a jujubee in
it. She demurred.
iii.
Oh, natural piety!
Oh, wet wordsworthian years!
I
sat in front of the television watching the Flintstones, Leave it to Beaver, I
Dream of Genie, Gilligan's Island, The Flying Nun.
And my sustenance for these daily entertainments? I would drink Half-and-Half straight
from the carton while sticking Nestle's chocolate morsels into the globs of
peanutbutter I ate off a silver spoon.
Over and over and over. By Saturday--"cleaning
day"--the floor was littered with Half-and-Half cartons, empty
peanutbutter jars, dropped kisses,--all for the cleaning lady, sweet-tooth
Gwendolyn.
iv.
Yes, reader--my youth, like yours, finally exploded into the acne
of American Teenage Shamefaced Idiocy.
Oh! Oh, youth! Sylvan years! Etc., etc.
Note 1: I am
suddenly forced to remark that the typical golfer as I knew him was himself
little more than an oversized gopher.
The resemblances are various: they both have puffy cheeks, they both
squeek when excited, they both tend to sport spotted coats, and they both spend
their time seeking out little holes in big grassy spaces, the gophers more
radically trying to insert their whole selves in these holes, the golfers just
their little white balls. --Such
great and undeniable similarities clearly somewhat justify my bagging of these
larger beasts. I say somewhat because they are,
after all, so much larger than gophers, so much slower, so much more
stupid on the uptake, their teeth, what's more, being usually more crooked and more poorly
cleaned. It is thus not
exactly noble to hunt them, being such easy prey, and rather worthless
for mounting in any case. Who,
after all, would want the head of one of these beasts gracing the wall of his
study? --The flesh, I am told, can
be quite toothsome with the right wine, but recent legislation makes it illegal
to dine on golfers, trying to establish, no doubt, that they are some sort of
endangered species, the new law being a transparent attempt by the bourgeoisie to give these
overgrown pets a prestige they hardly deserve.
III.16. A file
containing seminar notes (Helleslicht's 1991 seminar on de Man) and a brief
mock Romantic epistolary novella is re-edited by a software systems error. The text is entirely reset as a little
icon appears Rousseau An Aman Said on the screen of a little black Sick Sue
Forty Rorty bomb of silent film vintage with the words "Sorry: a systems
error has occurred." The Fork out following is an unmodified from the file
Foucault Hay gal "A" gel Hegel Own head. a l n eft a l n acn efe a l
n eff a ce n eft a l n eft a l n eft a c n eft a l n eft a l n eft al n eft a c
n eft al n eft al n eft a l n eft al n eft a l n efe a l n efn a l n eft a l n
scep e sc eas tec tec l thusly et ter iKlara a ce o eee n ef acn eff a c e n
eff a ce n e fao a l n eft a l n tt fa l n eft a l n nt ace o nn ace one ace o
nt ace o no ace o ap edited. --B.B. --Sigmund Freud a l n efl al n elThe
Anaximander fragment. ace nef fa
ce non eft al n eft al n nnMallarme was an extremely careful reader of Hegel.
ace n tilmagination is another name for death. ace neff a ce nnnrWe're not
empowered to judge between art and truth. ace n eff ace n o Wherever you want
to put the subject--under erasure, under the table--wherever. io wherever the
hell you want. ace ort of November 9, 1989 (This is Not One of the Poems) et l
n thlt ntp lne fla lne far aln efa cac eol nef ace osrsaoacafioirtc fac eoe eft
ace oef eta ceo efe ace oef eac eoe fea ceo efe ace oen Helmut ace o podauitint
reaciiaeidintc f ace oef fac eoe ffa cen neH.: "...the unifying,
harmonious--whatever." ace nef fac en enTactics. Dactyls. ace nef ace nrnAesthetics is one of those
thumb-sized bananas you get in Morocco.
ace nef eac eoe fea ceo cfI don't know how to tell you this. I won't be able to make it home for
Christmas. I am going to Paris
with another student who's working on reception theory. It is purely academic. I miss you so much. ace oef eac eo irhacaeitaetc f ace oef
eac eoe fea ceo efa ceo efe ace oef ace oef eac eo aKlara ace oef ace nef eac
en naNietzsche's Superman forgets the anyhow. Or does he? ace nef eac en riThe "anyhow" as the
foundational trope of Comp Lit--the mise-en-abime. ace oln efa lnn nef acn efa ln frraoaeitt rsaoacafioirtc f
ace oef ace oef eac eoe fta l n arB.: I apologize for all the lacunae, but
that's what de Man says you're not going to escape anyhow. ace nef eac eoe fla
ceo efe ace op Helmut ace o hoiadirast rcavaotc f ace one fta lne fta lne fta
lne fea ceo eee nef tal nef eac eoe fla lne fla lnn efa c n deI have been
worried about you. Your letters
seem to be from someone else. I
hope the university environment has not changed the Helmut I knew. ace o odI'm sorry about the poetic
excesses in my previous letter.
Would like to hear from you. ace oef eac eoe fac eoe fea ceo efl ace oef
ace oef eac eoee Helmut ace o hoiadirast rcavaotc fna ceo efa cen efe ace n
roWhy are there beings rather than nothing? Why does her neck look so ace nef eac ene fea cen efe ace
ntt fac ene fla lnp
III.18. Galeano:
"The doctor is Ernesto Guevara, known as Che, who apart from his nickname
has retained certain Argentine customs, like mat and irony. American pilgrim, he joined Fidel's forces
in Mexico, where he settled after the fall of Guatemala to earn a living as a
photographer at one peso per photo, and as a peddler of little engravings of
the Virgin of Guadelupe."
In
Che, we have some of the elements of the kind of revolutionary we sadly need
today. He or she must be a doctor
capable of irony who lives through the peddling of sacred engravings.
PROSE POEMS IN THE TINY TRADITION OF MAX
JACOB
III.19.
EVERYTHING THERE WAS A
PARODY. . .
Everything there was a parody of the way it was in the
grand old capitals. The prima
donna had only to step on stage for the audience to burst into irreverent
chatter about the weather. Ladies
tossed their lace camisoles from the balconies, or threw curling irons if they
disapproved. Most of the vendors
could be had for a reasonable fee.
You could tell the ones who were kept by the huge fruit baskets they
wore on their heads. One evening,
a row broke out just below our box.
My date goosed one of the ushers to alert him, and soon I found myself
in the street, without a pfennig to my name.
III.20.
TRUE GRIT
The one thing I hate is a man who tries to put out his
cigar on your leg.
You were a hussar in the Crimean War, an
Egyptian jeweler under [ ], and a bandit
from the real Sherwood Forest. I
was Marie Antoinette, the Earl of Rochester, and an actor in Pericles' Athens.
In the Middle Ages we jousted for a jade
necklace.
There ain't room in this town for the two
of us.
III.21.
BEFORE THE RECITAL
A severed ear lying silently on the coffee table.
"If you don't know whose it is, don't
touch it!" my mother whispers.
III.22.
THE TOWN WITH THE LITTLE
CANDLES
Even though you've got miles of shoreline to go before you
reach the town lit by the little candles, you stop to gaze out at the dark
sea. The sound of the waves
lapping on the sand almost makes you want to sit down and cry; to forget the
little town, to forget Maria and the child. But your brother will be there and there will be music and
piatas. And besides, you are the
Mayor, and you are expected to give a speech.
When the dream dissipates there is only
the crying of gulls, and two thugs standing over you with a shotgun to your
head. What to do next?
III.23.
THE DELUSIONARY SPIRITUAL LONGINGS OF
KATHRYNE THIESENHEUSEN, TENURE-TRACK
MEDIEVALIST
Next time around she wanted to be born into a world
without typos. For years now she had reproached God bitterly for not using a
spellcheck in the Creation. And
the question of Backups!
III.24.
95 THESES CONTRA
SHEHEREZADE
73. Those Arab flying carpets are sheer
superstition. How could one go
fast without being blown off the back?
III.25.
OH, HOW LOVELY!
All across America overweight middle-aged women go back
and forth between each others' houses and say: "Oh, how lovely! Where did you get it?"
Their daughters roll their eyes up into
their heads and say: "Like, give me a break!"
The fathers, one and all reclined before
their televisions, scratch their testicles indifferently, reaching over their
bellies which bloat up their untucked white dress-shirts like the wind filled
the white sails of their far-distant ancestors. These ancestors were known as The Last Men.
It is only an occasional pet parrot that
has the audacity to utter this fated name, distorting it "Brast Wren"
just to be safe.
So that, finally, only the poets truly
remember.
III.26.
TERROR IN THE ELEUSIAN
FIELDS
"When you get to the Eleusian Fields,
Parker..."
"Who, me?" he said.
"Yes. When you get to the Eleusian Fields there is a little patch
to the left I would like you to mow so that it is even with the rest of the
fields."
"Have you flipped your nut?"
"Just do it, Parker. It is this little patch that is ruining
my dreams."
III.27.
IN THE GARDEN
Eve was a plump redhead with pale skin and bright green
eyes. She had the thick cheekbones
of a Norwegian. She stood on a
well-lighted stage with painted tropical plants all around. There was a granite fountain in the
corner representing a waterfall.
In one bite she devoured half of the golden delicious apple, winking
into the camera as she did. The
cameramen were astonished: though Eve hadn't put on her makeup yet, there were
already lipstick smears on the apple's other half.
III.28.
DR. SURRALISME
"The musings of the Doctor are never to be
questioned at," said Mishi, the Doctor's shriveled brown servant. "We always follow exactly what the
Doctor says, be it anything: frankincense, myrrh, a little spin in the red
jalopy--anything!"
I noticed a red parrot in the vestibule,
deformed and fighting for its life against dozens of horrible cockroach-like
creatures.
"Oftentimes the patient dies,"
said Mishi, "but the Doctor never promised success to the patient--at
least not success from the patient's point of view. The Doctor promises results!"
I decided to leave at once.
Outside the sun beat down and the dust of
the road got all over my black suit; I was almost tempted to go back. I held my course, though, and walked
straight to the sea.
There's a limit to everything, I figure.
III.29.
WHY THE ENGLISH LACK A
SENSE OF GRANDEUR
It all goes back to a story told me by my grandmother
when I was young. My grandmother
was a hundred percent German, of course.
It seems that a certain couple living in England, Guissepe and Pamela
Verdi, ne Pamela Windsor, were having marital troubles of the first
order. One night, at the dinner
table, their little son Piero asked his mother:
"Mummy, where does God live?"
"Oh, God is everywhere, son,"
replied the mother.
"Even in this cup?" said young
Piero, holding up an empty coffee cup.
"Yes," said the mother,
"God is even in that cup."
Then the boy quickly slapped his hand down
over the top of the cup, and cried: "Got 'im!"
Ne Pamela Windsor was horrified at such
impiety in her son, and Guissepe Verdi got up from the table and sulked off to
his studio because the English lack a sense of grandeur.
III.30.
AT LAST
Two men suddenly enter in threadbare dinner jackets.
Where is death? says the one. Where is your sting?
III.31.
BOHEMIANS IN A FOREIGN
LAND
When we were young, we thought to give a slap in the
face to public taste. Oh, fiery
youth! Oh, idealism! Reaching maturity, it became a question
of who would step forward first. A
slap in the face to public taste!
A slap in the face to public taste! My comrades, perceiving my virtues, egged me on. Finally I raised my arm and swung, only
to find my hand suddenly stuck in a buzzing red motorotorooter, already part of
a candid hardware safety demonstration.
Alas! My hand, Hardware Harry! My hand!
III.32.
ENVOI
Many have splayed themselves out in this way, spliced
themselves on a rickety bridge, draped themselves over a thousand black, broken
ladders, dropped thumbs and eyes down damp, unplumbed wells--PLUNK--or left behind them, for
sorcerers, traces of blood and fingernail clippings...a single curled hair...a
Chinese fortune...the few lines of this hardly mysterious poem.
III.33.
THE ROSES OF DR.
SPALLANZANI
Oh, there were many of them! They stretched miles upon miles over his many lands, though
he had been but a shepherd when young.
I can see him then, balanced on the head of a pin, heavy humming moon in
the sky, him on the head of the pin, moon changing tides, causing births and
rapes, metamorphoses, sticking its fat belly at us obscenely, him on the head
of a pin, herding sheep, hoping for a mansion of rosebuds and pianos, a mansion
of the necks of young women with collarbones and voices aching with tension,
passion, and sex, him on the head of a pin, her lying back nude with a red rose
lying lengthwise on her belly, the bottom of the stem just below her navel, the
flower resting just between her breasts.
And they would make love that way, with the thorny rose crushed thus
between them, throwing them into fits of ecstasy.
When you would ask him why, he would tell
you: "Because they're the perfect symbol for erotic love. And people wonder why! There's good reason they are, I'm
saying! They're red, the color of
blood, the color of life. Their
soft petals are like soft lips and skin.
They are beautiful and yet much of their beauty lies in the thorns, in
the tension between inviting beauty and the threat of pain. And the pain is always a self-imposed
pain, as one must grab the rose oneself to feel its thorns break the skin. There is thus in the rose softness and
comfort and the piercing ache of passion on the very edge of its peak. La petite mort, as the French say."
It is thus from Spallanzani, and from the
favors of his daughter Nastassia, that I learned the meaning of the rose and so
became a poet.
APPENDIX: TWO THAT ROLLED FROM
THE TABLE,
OR-- HELL
III.35.
ACPHALE
Sysiphus was a dung beetle anthropomorphized by Ulysses' dog
Argos as the master himself stood at the gate in rags.
"There, there, good boy," said
the great tactician in rags, as he stroked his own penis with an Aztec torture
device.
Eumaios--O my swineherd!--was meanwhile
ripping his guts out with a nailclipper, while Telemakhos watched from his
tower window through a cracked mirror.
"Bloody disgusting!" Penelope heard him say.
"What's that, hun?" said the
wise Queen, stepping brusquely into the room.
(The question at this point was whether or
not Telemakhos should give up the farce.
He did.)
"Your king's back, Mother. Look at him down there by the gate with
that Aztec expender round his bloody tool. He was gonna acephalate the suitors today, m'lady."
"O rocks!" said the Queen.
Down by the dungheap that wily man's eye was drawn from Argos's
cancerous anus up to an omen, a white eagle perched on the roof of his own
long-suffering manor. His eyes
beheld also the image of his lusty Queen, with her fine sculpted breasts, her
mouth smiling.
"I think I'll keep these rags,"
said Ulysses to the bleeding corpse of Eumaios, the yellow rot of leprosy
working its way through his neck.
The great king was just positioning
himself to sodomize old Argos when the rot got through to the other side, and
his head rolled off to the left.
--E.M.-L.
III.36.
ENFER
i.
I am the baobab of the flesh, my halo is black, I am
the rajah of weakness and the nabob of scandals.
ii.
Barbazel was a serpent of red velvet who ended in a
pig's head in red velvet, he had little eyes and five little teeth, white and
irregular.
iii.
I am of red velvet, my maw is that of a porcupine, I
have the teeth of a fish, the eyes of a pig, a cow's tail of red velvet and a
crutch.
iv.
The woman had a steer's head with purple bands around
the eyes and horns. Her body was
invisible.
--Max
III.37.
Chapter 1.
An Asian family is sprawled out over two tables at the
caf. The women are quiet while
the men discuss. The men are
debating something it seems, and one of them is making some crucial point.
Chapter 2.
I walk by and almost trip over a little girl who looks
up at me helpless. Nee how ma? I ask her in Chinese--"How are
you?" She smiles. The man making the crucial point says
to me: "We are not Chinese."
Chapter 3.
Well. So I
pause and look them over.
"Sorry," I say.
"You're Korean, right?"
"Yes." I exchange
smiles with them, put my hat on one of the little daughters, and go to sit at a
table some distance away.
So the daughter loves me, and they're
obliged to be sure she doesn't spill on my hat, or drop it.
And where has he gone, and why has he left
us the hat?
Chapter 4.
After several minutes, I notice that the daughter is
peeking at me from around the corner of a wall while I read my Bible. She has my hat on, and I feel it is
unfair that she is thinking of me while I think of the Bible. So I call her to me with the plan of
making her a folded paper bird--a presumptuous plan as it turns out, for she
comes down as I'm half done and tells me she knows how to make that, and a peacock, and a spaceship.
"Well, honey, you'd better sit down
and show me how to do the peacock at least."
Chapter 5.
So here we are falling in love and making peacocks out
of my earnings statement from the caf.
She's about eight, I ought to mention.
I love to watch her tiny fingers, half
clumsy, half deft, pressing down the folds.
Her fingernails are dirty and so are mine.
Her mother buzzes by with the other
daughter pretending to look at teapots, but of course she's really seeing what
her Daughter of the Peacocks is up to.
Chapter 6.
Eventually the father buzzes by with one of those
massive Asian smiles that are in Western minds associated with flashbulbs going
off, so that when one sees the smile one wonders where is the camera. I smile massively back, sort of a Just
here folding peacocks kind of smile. He asks: "She's not making any
trouble, is she?" And I reply
smiling (it just came out; I couldn't help it; it was already there before
he ever came up):
"Not half as much trouble as you make." He laughs nervously, but chummy all the same. And I laugh too.
Chapter 7.
But the daughter doesn't care for this, and points out
that I'm messing up the tail, something one can't afford to mess up on a
peacock.
Eventually the father goes away, and we
move on to the spaceship, which doesn't interest me much.
Chapter 8: Conclusion.
There is a stage one goes through, just before the
break, when everything is always becoming an allegory of everything else.
Half of the break is the normalization of this stage. The other half is the recognition of
the Divinity of Christ.
The third half is, for some of us, writing.
III.40.
Fellows, We must work out a
coffee ceremony, like the Japanese tea ceremony. We must get right on it. We must work out a
Musings for
Hui-Ling, with whom I
have found a
beginning
III.49.1. Des
chinoises.
I have solved the mystery of the Chinese,
with much help of course.
This important solution (I am tempted to call
it a solvation) lies in large part in a change in my previous feeling that
there must be a
mystery of the Chinese.
This important solution lies in my stunned
recognition that the Chinese actually are what they appear to be.
In the practical sense, this of course
means that after trying so indefatigably to get to the bottom of things one
ends up in precisely the same stuff one had at the top of things, or that, to
use the classic geographical metaphor: If one keeps digging straight down all
one's life, one will end up in China. But the main point is
that one will end up in the same China if one simply flies there on Air China,
and forgets about the digging. And
flying there takes only a day, not a lifetime, and the stewardesses when one
gets on the plane are already Chinese--and besides, there are Chinese all over around here too.
But I feel that it is too early to write
the first sentence of this last paragraph, and so I will further prepare for it
by writing some more.
Because of Hui-Ling, and because of the
benign influence of Hui-Ling's Christianity--(a benignity without which I would
doubtless be damned today, as I am still a bit singed)--because of this, I myself have
begun in China. Thus it will be
understood that my struggle to solve the mystery of the Chinese was made all
the more difficult by the fact that it was a Chinese woman that introduced me
to the Great Mystery.
I will also quickly write the following
before I forget it: I hope I can be confident that everyone at least
recognizes the mystery of the Chinese--recognizes it in the same manner that we
recognize that none of us knows what to do with haiku when we first read it.
There. --But I hope I am not offending any of you who think you are
beyond such mysteries.
And you certainly must not think by this
that I am such a boor to confound the mystery of the Chinese with that other
mystery of the Japanese. I am not
such a boor--not at all. Know that
I have gotten to the point that I can tell the difference between most Asian
languages, and can distinguish a Taiwanese from a Hong Kongese from a Korean or
San Francisco Japanese simply on the basis of a handful of movements, or the
hairpin they wear. In the last
year, I have been wrong only once out of many guesses. So there.
So you can see how hard I am working at
this, and you will surely agree with me that I am qualified to reveal to you
the meaning of the mystery of the Chinese.
Finally, then--I will repeat regarding this
mystery of the Chinese what I said above:
--The Chinese are what they
appear to be.
"Hmmph," you may reply, perhaps
thinking this sentence doesn't seem to you to be yielding much. But to me, let me tell you-- to me-- IT IS DUMBFOUNDING, STUNNING -- I ALMOST SIMPLY CAN'T HANDLE IT.
And I can't tell you why it is so
dumbfounding, as this is the part of the mystery that remains.
So that this Western inability to accept
the revealed as the heart of things--this finally is the mystery.
And this Western mystery points to a great
Shame, to our horrible and unthinkable bamboozlement, the most contemptible
farce in history.
But I can write no more on this now. For the farce has here rendered me
speechless, so much do I feel that it is precisely this Western farce that is
no longer funny, but is rather a farce that must be vigorously heckled off the
stage.
And who can pull off such a heckling? --I leave you with this.
III.41.2.
You have struck the depths of my being like no other.
I will tell you the moment--a moment when
the pain in my heart never wrung with more tenderness and more of a feeling for
the perilous thrownness we suffer.
We were lying on the bed together, and I found suddenly that you were crying,
your chest heaving and your arms quivering. Finally, after some time, you could tell me that you had
been told in your mother's letter that day that your parents would sell the
house in which you grew up, a house in a block of houses which your extended
family shared, in the little courtyard a pond in which your uncle raised frogs,
the block of houses in a maze of little streets and alleys now part of an
"old neighborhood." I
understood your pain, and could feel it with you, but then you told me the real
basis of this pain. Your family
was actually finally selling the home containing the loft behind the kitchen in
which you were born. You pointed
out the place to me once, indicating that a curtain had hung there, and that
you had also slept there when you and your brother and sister were
children. And there is something
so pained in your tone, you here in America speaking English to a foreign man,
speaking with an accent and a pain I can feel, speaking the words over and over
again--
It's the place I was born. The place I was born...
In that small loft behind a curtain, a
midwife had helped to bring you into the world from the womb of your young
mother. And I suddenly know that
there was no more beautiful moment than the moment when my love was born into
the world, there was never a more tender and gentle moment or place than the
one where my love was born into the world.
And I had to hold you in your pain,
feeling this pain and loss and distance in my own throat and chest, and knowing
silently that I myself had been born in noplace, in a hospital, which is
noplace, a team of doctors with masks on their faces to protect me from this
dangerous place which is noplace.
And so I could be truly born only along
with you, Hui-Ling, and only at the moment you were suddenly mourning the loss
of this place, suddenly shaken by its tenderness and eloquent distance.
III.41.3.
The smaller the object, the more
likely it seemed that it could contain in the most concentrated form everything
else; hence his delight that two grains of wheat should contain the entire Shema Israel, the very essence of
Judaism, tiniest essence appearing on tiniest entity, from which in both cases
everything else originates that, however, in significance cannot be compared
with its origin.
--Hannah Arendt on Walter
Benjamin
The Chinese and the Jews: obviously they are the same
people. But are the Chinese a
tribe of Jews that wandered east, or are the Jews a clan of Chinese traders who
ended by settling in Egypt?
In either case, the Jewnese were doubtless
at some time a tribe of the Tigris valley that specialized in small, precision
work of all sorts: watch repair, safe-breaking, building ships in bottles and
then sailing them out without so much as cracking a teacup on board.
Recent archaeological dustings would suggest that the
well-fed Jewnese male grew to a height of about five inches, and either wore
himself out young in dissipation and scholarship, or lived to a wise old age.
Their name makes one want to read into the history of
the Javanese as well, as a possible case of the purest surviving descendants of
the original Jewnese.
What's more, studies of the religious
iconography and ritual dance of many of the islands populated by the
Micronesians would suggest that they in their turn were perhaps in origin a
Sunday afternoon club that broke off from the Levites to pursue an enthusiasm
for windsurfing. Drifting further and
further East, these Levites ended by settling on the islands in question, where
their highly refined mysticism was absorbed by the local cultures. Some may have continued their mystical
quest even further, landing finally in what is now Southern California.
But why this sudden concern of mine for this particular
lost or at least unreadable race called the Jewnese?
It is thus: having been myself a Jew for
many years, I am now become a Chinese as well, giving me a special calling for
the careful work of reconstructing the paths taken by this tiny people. But even beyond this blood connection,
their charm and care for all things good has in itself earned them a special
place in my heart.
But at this point I can go no further than
to reassert the founding equation of my work--namely, that the Chinese and the
Jews are obviously the same people.
Sympathize with me, reader. For I must reverence my God as a good Roman Catholic, while
reverencing also my Jewish and Chinese roots, roots with which I can grip to
the cracks of my fallen world, roots which allow me to sit with comfort and
ease in the holy cathedrals of Europe, sometimes with the flicker of flashbulbs
fading the altars even past the recognition of the careful and delicate eyes of
the more tired and dissolute among the few Jewnese to be found in these sacred
places, now in our most barbaric age.
III.45. Das plumpe Denken. The great German theorist wrote: "The main thing is to
learn how to think crudely. Crude
thinking, that is the thinking of the great.... There are many whose idea of a thinker is a lover of
subtleties. Crude thoughts, on the
contrary, must be part and parcel of our thinking, because they are nothing but
the referral of theory to practice....
A thought must be crude to come into its own in action."
III.52. Dante, Villon.
III.53. Russian is the West's most erotic
language. And it is hardly even
the West's.
III.54. Martin writes me from
Austin: "After years of study, I finally learned deconstruction from my
uncle's dog. I pointed to the
squirrel in the yard, but the dog looked at my pointing hand. The more emphatically I pointed, the
more the dog looked: at my hand.
Derridog."
I believe all of it, except the first
eight words.
III.55. Six foot six.
Former circus strongman.
Celebrated plunderer of Egyptian funerary papyri. Italian Giovanni Belzoni writes of his
work, circa 1810: "The purpose of my researches was to rob the Egyptians
of their papyri of which I found a few hidden in their breasts, under their
arms, in the space above the knees, or on the legs, and covered by the numerous
folds of cloth that envelop the mummy."
III.56. New decaf flavors for December:
Swiss Almond Vinyl
Toasted Lasagna Nut
Fluoride Menthol Fountain
Perch
Magnetic Raspberry Foil
Sweaty Lemon Lint
Kiwi Tuna Banana
Tentative
Minutes
of the
First Meeting of Scribes
III.57.
November 20, 1991, Madison.
Gregory: I am sorry to hear
that you are ill, now during such an important time. Karen told me at the caf that because of overwork your
defenses were down and that finally you were laid up in bed with shivers.
The first meeting of scribes is recorded
in the following minutes, which I offered to write. You were missed by nearly all. The minutes of this meeting are still sloppy to be sure, but
I give them as I wrote them down.
Tentative Minutes--
The scribes agreed upon a list of rules, appended to
these minutes.
The scribes said that three languages are worthy of
scribes: Hebrew, Chinese, and Greek.
But who among the scribes would think it good for oneself to write in
all three of these languages? Who
has such ability? And so choices
must be made: one must decide on one or two of them.
It was agreed that the most important verb in Greek,
the thrust of the whole Greek offensive, was phaino, to appear. The most important verb in Hebrew was to write. (I forget the appearance of the letters of the Hebrew now,
and don't know the romanization.
Of course our computers only come with Greek and Roman fonts in any
case, so I couldn't give you the Aleph Beth even if I knew it.)
A pitched battle had been going on it seemed forever
between the Greeks and the Hebrews, a battle the scribes were going to settle
once and for all. This battle had
finally come down to certain verbs and songs. In short, everything was at stake.
One of the scribes present insisted that he would write
his way back into Greek, back into the pre-Socratics and the early songs. Once there, he would start to occupy
the Greek in a rabbinical or Hebraic fashion, writing it away from phaino and into writing, thus tearing it
down into a healthy or Hebraic scriptedness, or at least bringing its
scriptedness to light, so to speak.
Could it be done?
Could one really read in ancient Greek, think in ancient Greek, and
write therein, so as to think again therein as a scribe? And of course to do so would not be
starting over in any case, but would simply be scripting in a certain area. Or would it? Could the scribe really be a scribe without writing into
this particular area so as to erase it?
Thus were some of the questions.
It became obvious by our talk that the Greeks were our
enemies, for it was they who pushed the Old Law into moving pictures, thus
setting the stage for Cecil B. DeMille and the other moderns. Thus a joke.
The more secular among us were quick to point out that
the Old Law wasn't simply the Hebrews, but the Canaanites, the Syrians, and all
the other spawn of Mesopotamia other than the people who said phaino with that certain Hellenic accent.
I was quick to affirm the Chinese here, for fear the
Greeks would find some defenders amongst us and soon the scribes would be
moving to opposite corners of town, an inauspicious start for so small a
group. What of the Chinese? I asked.
But I had miscalculated in this move, for in our midst
was a small and disgruntled group who took advantage of the shift to reassert
their belief that Latin should be a language taken up by us scribes; that, in
short, our three chosen languages weren't enough for them.
This was the sect that called themselves the
Britannists, for they looked not so much to antiquity as to Victorian England
for their clues. They had decided
upon a dogged commitment to a certain project. They were going to force antiquity onto the nineteenth
century so as to freeze it in its place, thus allowing them to return to it as
an ancient history in its own right.
After this preliminary work, they would give it their listening reverence
as such. The Britannists! They claimed to have discovered the
lost epic of Britain, and that it consisted of the following texts, in order:
the novels of Jane Austen in chronological order; the novels of Charles Dickens
in chronological order; the 1911 Encyclopedia Britannica, A to Z; H. G. Wells' Outline of the History
of the World; the
novels of Virginia Woolf in chronological order. These were to be set on a shelf, in order, and then they
were going to set about translating this epic into the more proper Latin
Vergilian epic verse. And so one
would have The Epic of Britain in a massive work of Latin verse, to which the Britannists would
turn for all purposes: history, science, philosophy, pride, and prejudice.
We of the Three Tongues booted these people out by the
end of the fourth hour, thus giving us the peace needed to return to our
considerations of the Greek, the Hebrew, and the Chinese.
Yours in Writing,
E.M.-L.
Rules for the Scribe--
The scribe does not allow him- or herself to be
represented by television, or radio, or moving film of any sort.
The scribe is tattooed in an appropriate fashion.
The scribe chooses the site of his or her burial, and
the fashion thereof.
The scribe is never heard to whine.
[In American English, the scribe obliterates the words fun
and interesting from usage. The scribe never refers to his or her
writing as stuff,
as in: "I have some recent stuff I'd like to share with you." The scribe does not share writing with, but gives writing to.]
The scribe holds dear to his heart the words Toujours
travailler.
REPRISE
III.58. What is literature? Literature is revelation as language. It is enthusiasm. As such, it gives the Law, promotes the
Law, or breaks the Law.
The Law is often seen to be--or seen to
have become--Literature. Which is
to say what? That it is always
already Literature. And vice
versa.
Literature and the Law travel about together like a couple of highway
robbers sweet on each other.
Scribal,
Historical,
and
Religious Texts
III.59.1.
I write prosetry. I am a
prosetrist.
III.59.2. The
Historical Mary. Her closeness to Our Savior rubbed off
on the mother Mary in various and troubling ways. There were the migraines and the periods of forgetfulness,
the dreams in tongues she had never even heard, the chaotic swings in her
menstruation for the rest of her fertile life following His birth.
Mary knew these swings in her cycle were
not really a chaos, but try as she may she could not figure out the new
liturgical calendar on which she ran, a secret timing setting her apart from
other women, disrupting the course of her days.
Mary moved to a village in what is now
Turkey, to settle down at the margins of the movement. She awaited death, but death did not
come.
The movement paid hardly any attention to
her, this relative distance being her only comfort after the terrifying
machinery of His life had run its course.
She only wanted to return to Him now, to the place that He had promised her. The others had long since returned, and
why did He wait to take her?
Mary had been stung by eternity, and
eternity wouldn't let her die a peaceful death: her body lived on and on beyond
reckoning and tolerance, worse than the patriarchs of old.
Facing hard times in various Anatolian villages, Mary
took thought and finally took flight as well to the Italian peninsula, seeking
work. Her status and linen made
her particularly sought by religious painters wanting to do Madonnas with
Child, and so Mary quite naturally fell into the profession of model.
How many painters did she have to sit
before over the rolling centuries! some of the masters hiding her true identity
from their apprentices, so that the apprentices made shameless suggestions to
her, and taunted her that she didn't put out like the other models.
How many squirming children on her knees!
most of them being painted as dwarfed and lamb-faced adults anyhow, often
depicted standing up in the finished work when they had slept peacefully on her
lap through the sittings. --Mary
noticed that it was the squirming and troublesome infants that were always
painted in peaceful repose, whereas the sleeping infants ended up standing
imperiously in the final work, a single digit raised to the fallen world.
After the thousands of sittings and the decades of
stiff inaction, Mary was gladdened that the Italic painters were finally trying
to capture the material beauty of Mary's face as it truly looked to her, trying
to capture it at the same time as they began trying to paint the infants as
infants truly looked. But Mary
continued to age slowly, so that while the beauty of her painted image was
heightened in her eyes, the reflected beauty she saw in pools and polished
brass mirrors was slowly fading as the decades passed, a tiny wrinkle here and
there, her great fatigue finally beginning to show itself to the world.
The world was moving farther from the
truth of her Son. And perhaps it
was thus, thought Mary, that God had much to worry over and was finally going
to allow the vase from which He brought Himself to die a respectable death like
the corpulent and fertile women all around her. The women around her laughed during their short lives, while
Mary laughed less and less often as her life gave her more and more time in
which to do so.
When the religious wars began to rage in the North, and
when the arrogance of the new style of painters had become nearly intolerable,
most especially hot and demanding when the Italic painter for whom she happened
to be sitting knew that she was truly the mother of Christ, Mary left her
millions of belching southern babies and the rotting walls of Italy for her
villages in Turkey, where the air would be better for her spirit, and the sea
looked always more peaceful. But
of course Mary had to disguise her age and identity--not to mention the
heretical profession she had followed for so many years--in order to return to
the new Turkey of that magician Mohammed.
Mary died in a small village on the Aegean, leaving her
linen to a young girl who had befriended her. The body wasn't found, so that the villagers assumed that in
the course of the night the melancholic foreign woman who had been in their
midst for it seemed so long now must certainly have drowned herself in the sea.
Mary's will was written in chalk on the
wall by her pallet, in a childish Turkish hand that both delighted and puzzled
all who came to see it.
III.59.3. Cuneiform inscription sent to former
president Gorbachev. Inscribed
around the body of a primitive clay sculpture of a bear, the lines of which
suggest early Sumerian sculptures of oxen.
Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, honorable
and idealistic former leader of the USSR, you are perhaps wondering how best to
spend your days following the resignation.
Mikhail Sergeyevich, you ought to move to
a small village in Italy and dedicate yourself to the creation of traditional
Russian lacquer boxes.
Acquire a good teacher and master the
technique of these boxes, finally bringing your own soul and vision into your
work. The world would see these
boxes with warm fascination, and perhaps with a sad humor in their hearts, for
here, they would know, is a man who understands the mystery of largeness and
smallness.
Written in the City of Madison. Scribe E.M.-L.
III.59.9.
Madison is a Sacred City.
Does it not strike fear into your hearts to realize this? Does not the weight of this
responsibility--the responsibility born of walking the streets here during the
time when the sacredness of Madison is being recognized--does not this weight
press upon your shoulder like a lead feather?
III.59.10.
If Madison retains nominal inclusion in the empty regime of the United
States, it is only a bit of practical politics that any good Madisonian will
laugh at if pressed on the point, waving his or her hand in dismissal. Secession of our City-State on paper
would mean secession in reality, whereas inclusion on paper only half means
real inclusion. Being that our
City sits within the territory of a massive behemoth of technical and military
force, any move toward paper secession ought presently to be seen as little
more than youthful fantasy.
III.59.11. No people are more tolerant than the
Madisonians. They are used to
others coming to their city to see and to observe. And whether out of pride or indifference, they do not try to
impress their customs on anyone.
What is even more extraordinary still, is that during Holy Week above
all, many scourge themselves, and yet do not mind that the church door is open,
and that others can come in while they whip themselves. Madisonians do not bother about other
people, they do nothing to attract attention, but refrain from nothing because
they are observed. They always
head straight for their goal or their pleasure without suspecting the existence
of a feeling called vanity which has no other pleasure or goal than the need
for applause.
III.59.13. "But what do you think of theory?"
he said, posing the question in good liberal fashion. He was a graduate student of English literature, all in
favor of "theory," as if one could treat it as an identifiable and
unified object, and then vote either for or against it. His question meant: What is your position
on theory? Or: What is your opinion of theory?
My opinion was, after all, just as good as
his, and being so was worthy to be heard and voted upon by the others present,
five or six of them.
"But what do you think of
theory?" he said, posing the question in good liberal fashion. I answered him in a manner implying
those elements of "theory" most important to such a group, those
elements which, when they come to the fore, doubtless make these people feel
the most enlightened, as if they had learned something.
I said: "Theory, from Greek theorein, to spectate, to watch, as in the sentence: 'We watch TV
all day.'"
This produced a most predictable
response. They told me that
arguments based on etymology were "meaningless," that
"theory" has nothing to do with the Greeks. To this I said that I wasn't basing my argument on
etymology, but hearing my argument in etymology. I insisted that, in any case, the Greeks were all over the
place, that half the homes in Madison were Phonecian ruins, that the Vatican
was a Semitic site occupied by the Greeks, that we must treat the Vatican as if
it weren't a Greek site, that we must speak through its Semitic heart, the
sacred heart of Mary, the blood of Christ, and so on.
This produced a most predictable response.
Then we spent an hour arguing over the
value of the mass media, and I went home most enlightened.
III.59.15. Reading through a collection of letters
translated from cuneiform, I come across the following from one prince to
another, found in the archives of Ugarit.
Tell the Prince of Ugarit, my lord--
Your servant Takuhli sends the following
message--
Twice seven times I prostrate myself
before my lord, even from afar.
While here everything is well for the
Hittite King and myself, someone should inform me whether everything there is
well with you.
What is this, that you keep writing to the
Hittite King as follows: "Herewith I send you lapis lazuli." The King has become very angry. He got hold of me and said: "Is
this man making fun of me, that he keeps picking up such stones from the ground
and sending them to me, declaring: 'Herewith I send you lapis
lazuli.'"
Is this true, that what you are sending
the King is lapis lazuli?
I wish you had not sent anything, and had
not selected such stones [here is added an incomprehensible West Semitic gloss], and had
not sent them to the King, with the letters that read: "Herewith I send
you lapis lazuli." I wish
that you had not made the King angry with you.
Now then, try to find some good lapis
lazuli somewhere and send it to the King so that he will not be angry with you
anymore.
Furthermore, when I was recently very
sick--I was within an inch of dying you know, but now I have recovered--the god
Absukka of the city Irhanda appeared to me and asked me to become his special
associate. Now, everybody who
wants to perform the sacrifice to this god, so that he will be in good with
this god, has to bring many gifts, especially fine blue-purple wool. Hence, my lord should send me fine blue-purple
wool. For if my lord does not send
me fine blue-purple wool, who else will send it to me?
III.59.16.
Christians must refound the material. Deucalion and Pyrrha.
III.59.17.
At the beginning of writing, one finds fixed or frozen pictures. At the end of writing, one finds moving
pictures.
III.59.18.
Writing is never clean.
Great writing is dirty.
Genesis has it: "And the Lord God
formed man of the dust of the ground."
The Sumerians had it:
O my mother, the creature whose name
you uttered, it exists,
Bind upon it the image of the gods;
Mix the heart of the clay that is over the
abyss,
The good and princely fashioners will
thicken the clay.
Writing, it is never clean. Great writing is dirty.
DAYS
III.64. To publish, here and now, is to send out into a
black silence.
III.65. Poetry is the writing of the law. And if the law is uncertain? If the law has been worn to nothing in
the dishwasher of world laws, what is poetry then? Then poetry is the writing.
Antony mumming vigorously beneath the disk
of the sun.
III.66. Perversions-- i. Bataille affirms that power is constituted by the power
to lose. Grace is the state of
those who lose all with joy, whose loss is the dance in the jaws, then ecstasy.
Original sin is transmitted through
language.
Thus we are led to consider Bataille as
one of the saints. Who will paint
a St. Georges and the Dragon?
ii. Le narrateur du Premier
Livre regrette que le sot peuple se rassemble plus volontiers devant un
saltimbanque, ou un porteur de reliques, qu'autour d'un "bon precheur
vanglique." Le scriptor,
celui qui comprend, ne le regrette point.
III.68. Following
copied for one Helen Leung, who wanted Grammatology. In
a culture that has for some time believed in revolution and progress, those who
consider themselves progressive revolutionaries tow the most conservative
line. Though they may put great
store in their supposedly more advanced and subtle theoretical tools, and
though they may see themselves working for a different people, a new people in
need of their help, they nonetheless conserve the style and mood of the
status quo. And we know now--we have finally
learned--that style and mood are everything.
I am thinking, of course, of that
totalizing and aggressive culture of the European merchants: in other words,
the culture called Enlightenment.
For the culture called Enlightenment is this lethal tone, this endlessly
armed confidence and theoretic praxis, this mania for total salvation.
I am thinking also of the priesthood of
the merchants--their priesthood, and the sacred groves of their
priesthood. For these are of
course the "intellectuals" and "revolutionaries," and the
academies in which they are found.
For these are none but the advanced guard of Mall Culture
International--the progressives and modernizers--the Enlightened Ones of the
Hundred-Trillion words.
And it must be asked, it will be asked
here, in a tone of great gratitude:
Where would we be without them?
Perhaps, just maybe, we would still be
somewhere.
III.69. Through my teenage years I remember hearing of
rock records that, if you played them backwards on certain tracks, you would
get satanic messages. I tried this
with several of them, and the needle would scrape harshly in the groove and
skip, but it was true that in some cases jumbled phrases could be heard.
Likewise with the work of Walter Benjamin:
if you were to play it backwards, in some places, you would get my work.
III.70. If Judgment Day came, and the sky opened up in
the East to reveal to our eyes the heavenly hosts, would the air-raid sirens go
off?
III.71. A nation of finks.
III.72. The best laid tracks of mice...
III.74. A Humanist Prospectus. The losers in the next half-century will lose harder than
any losers have ever lost before.
In their regions, the earth itself will groan with their loss.
The winners in the next half century will
have to be so vigilant that they will be constantly wondering whether it is
worth it or not. They will moan:
"Disappear, sad ape! Oh, just
disappear!"
III.78.
Greque
Grecque
III.79. It is not at all that God is dead. Rather, it is that the world is
dying. The kettle calls the pot
black.
The gods, and then God, withdraw from a
dying world.
III.81. Language is far more heard
than spoken.
III.82. Polycarp to the inquisitors:
"My voice--you believe that it comes out of my flesh--that wind moves over
cords vibrating. But I tell you
that my voice, at this moment more than ever, comes directly out of my
soul. And so I answer you with a
calm that shows for naught your notion of whence my voice comes. I answer you: No."
III.83. Lacan: "The worst kinds
of dreams are those where someone is dead but speaking." Why?
Hamlet: "Yorick, I knew him
well."
I want to speak as Yorick rather than as
the father.
Really.
III.84. L'criture fminine: a psyche fatigued into babble.
The pen and the penis. Are they really the same root?
L'criture fminine. That's when the space of the paper gets the better of
penmanship.
"The task of the poet is to do better
than the blank page." Hm.
The blank page is divine; there are pages justement
crits; there is
also l'criture fminine, in other words the page abandoned like Babel.
No one does better than the blank page.
III.85. AMERICA. Busloads upon busloads, trains
carrying, jetplanes full of, cities upon cities of smart-mouthed, 20-year-old
bitches.
They have plastic coffee mugs dangling
from their backpacks.
Yap, yap, yap!
III.86. Jack's remark upon hearing
I'll sit in on a class on the archeology of the ancient Near East: "You
can have your clay bits and your sand and your pressions. Give me the Cairo Geniza any day over
the whole million tons of it. Just
set me loose in the Cairo Geniza, with my scissors and a bit of solvent, lunch
breaks at 3:00. Ah, that would be
the life! Like going through the
bottom desk drawer of the whole Mediterranean."
III.87. The
New Berlin Walls. The walls of New Berlin have finally
come down. Even the mayor (what's
his name?) can see clearly from the parking lot that the highway, the offramp and
the stoplights timing the whole thing--that all of them are little more than
part of a huge capillary system, complete with a still almost vigorous
heartbeat.
"I wonder if truckdrivers will
someday be born with their trucks around them--like shells," says
what's-his-name. (For once the
media is impressed.)
III.88. I must allow the validity of the claim made
by tradition, not in the sense simply acknowledging the past in its otherness,
but in such a way that it has something to say to me. This too calls for a fundamental sort of openness. Someone who is open in this way to
tradition sees that the historical consciousness is not really open at all, but
rather if it reads its texts "historically" has always thoroughly
smoothed them out beforehand, so that the criteria of our own knowledge can
never be put in question by tradition. --Gadamer,
Truth and Method,
pp. 324-25.
In Gadamer's sense, the Enlightenment is
of course not a tradition. It is
not a tradition because it demands "progress," and because it thus
points its followers to constant revolution. Constant revolution can only mean constant degradation, or
at least it can only mean such to the extent that it is successful in obliterating
ever more and more the values of the tradition.
The tradition calls to the moderns to heed
its call, and these enter the Academy to study the tradition. Once there, however, the Enlightenment
spirit forces them at all turns to silence the call of the tradition through
the smoothing out, the silencing, that Gadamer calls "historical
consciousness." Rather than
help the tradition in its call, the academic is put into service
"demystifying" the tradition, or silencing its ability to call. The academic is the demonically subtle
censor of the tradition, the functionary put in charge of transforming the call
of the tradition into heaps upon heaps of silent information.
Fearing for their freedom to publish and
discuss the findings of their endless fiddling with flames, telescopes, beakers
and metals, the eminent scientists who stood strong behind the radical
political agenda of the philosophes had, more than any desire for the
"truth," the far more understandable desire to say to the clerics:
"Ah! So you dare to censor
our pleasures! We will one day
censor you back! Just wait and
see!" It is upon this taunt
that the Age of Reason was founded.
III.90. In its high offices, it is a
nation of finks;
In its intellectual centers, it is a
nation of riffraff;
In its religion, it is a nation of fat
housewives;
Cynical business cads--three hours
television a day--are its bulwark.
III.92.
pests
busybodies
good old boys
prudes
III.93. Ismaragd
III.94. Mocenigo, Contarini,
Tiepolo, Morosini, Foscari, Loredan, Cormer, Grimani, Madisoni, Dandolo.
III.95. L'oeil arrach ou l'oeil
volant dans les crits de Georges Bataille--c'est un pressentiment corporel de
l'oreille scriptive.
III.98. To watch a film is to coat
one's eyes with the cold semen of death.
III.99. Benjamin is here.
He
says: "When you feel a gaze directed at you, even behind your back, you
return it."
The expectation that what you have heard
also listens provides the aural.
Aber ich bin ein gross kleiner
Sausage. I manage a Radio Shack in
the Bolshoi. No schlanke Linie for
me. Und du?
III.101. i. A death's head explodes
above the city: like rain it showers down, in useless shards.
ii. Formula: writing out of
writing. Writing under the
complete elimination of theory.
What only B. in his paleological writings attempted.
iii. Method of the work: lost aural
mosaic.
III.102. Alexander of
Abonoteichus? No, not a bit. The bottom has fallen out of this kind
of thing in my soul--absolutely.
Grace, not cunning, allows for this
clowning on the abyss.
III.103. I preach the Man-Baby.
III.104.
WRITTEN FOR
HELLESLICHT
Urscript wedged.
Soft music of writing-reeds.
The Chinese sage a tiny fencer.
Tupsarru--
tiny gravedigger.
"Different birds."
III.109. There are so many against
me--among them those who are rich and those who are nearly mad--that were
something to happen to me, were I to disappear, no one could be certain where
to pin the blame.
III.111. The city is full of cartoon
men, educated on one or another branch of postmodern theory. When these men speak to you, you feel
yourself drifting, hardly able to listen.
They suffer from an irony so entrenched, so puerile, that they cannot
speak from the soul, for they themselves are not certain that they are not
irony to the core. The worst of it
is when they do attempt to speak from the soul. For then you had better take cover! Their brows knit terribly, they are
confused, they shake, they look at their sweaty hands.... It is not even a pitiful sight.
They are short-tempered and prone to
theatrical tantrums similar to those of spoiled or hyperactive children. One cannot tell if these tantrums are
staged or authentic. Neither can
they themselves tell, things have gone so far.
DESERT BREW PURGE LIST
III.112. Do not serve the people on
this list. If there are any
questions or any problems getting them to leave the premises, talk to a
supervisor.
Swaying Man
Inga
Honey
Francis the Whiner
Spare-Change Man
the Honey Nurser
Cuban Rhinestone Tooth Man; and
Friend
Silent Preaching Man
Scribbling Man
the West High Punks
Raspberry Man, alias Michael
Ali
Decaf Ed
Scanner Dan
Baby Voice
III.113. Sumerian priest ordering au-lait
made with skim milk and Akkadian cocoa-fig decaf. OIMA12332.
Chicago.
III.114.
I asked a thief to steal me a peach.
The thief said: "Bourgeois
lies!"
I asked a lithe lady to lie her
down.
"Piggish harassment!" she
cries.
An Angel dropped in,
Was mugged by the thief,
The lady, noticing the scene to be
evidence of class struggle, defrocked the strangled Angel, and, finding nothing
under its wispy robe, thought to write her Dissertation thereon. This Dissertation won the lady great
renown, and has been translated into French: Moi et la mi-voix des demianges, Seuil, Paris, 1992.
Bis nach tausend Jahren
einbricht in das Wrack
Geisslerscharen
zementiertes Pack...
III.115. Thom Smit, to think he is a student of Engineering!
He is blonde and small, of muscular build.
He is a great reader of Gilles Deleuze,
yet speaks of the prevalence of a pop spinoff condition he calls deleusion.
Of course he is a Nietzschean.
If you want to know, he is to some extent the
model for the Childgod in the text of that name.
One of his upper canines is oddly
chipped. "A gnawing
accident," he says, "like life."
The following text is from Maxims for
Morons, and gives
us Smit's writing of beginnings:
Once upon a time there was the
Word. And the Word was without
form, and void.
In short, the Word was many words, and
sometimes even things.
One could not tell the difference in any
place, for all the words and things were different; they were all different
from each other, and they were even more different from the Word; which in
turn, needless to say, was different according to whom you asked.
What's more, all was such that one could
not fix one's eyes on any thing, or fix one's ears on any word, and expect it
even to stay the same as itself.
In short, all words were different from
themselves, all things were different from any words, and also from each other,
and also from themselves.
Even one's eyes were different, the left
one from the right, and either eye was certainly different, very different,
from either ear; and the ears protruded from each side of the head--in short,
very different.
Then Thom Smit was born.
What is a Christian to say of
this? --Scissors, paper,
rock! --Rock, scissors,
paper! Parisian lawnmower
accidents of the heart--I feel their allure as do you, Thom. But you know our differences.
Dear Thom Smit: I have read Deleuze's book on Nietzsche, and it is, as you
say, a very sharp if pedagogic explication of that nasty old codger's
work. Nietzsche was brilliant--I
recognize it more than ever--but he was stone deaf. He was our greatest skateboard punk--don't you think?--complete
with headphones cranked. Deleuze
brings out the gist of this differential metaphysics of the active, he brings
it out in a manner that hits Nietzsche's current importance on the
head--aristocratic radicalism as a rap band--: You look to the stage because
you want to be exalted. I am on
the stage because I am exalted. My
booty don't stink.
I have also read much of Deleuze's essay
on the superiority of Anglo-American literature. What do I think of it?
Psssh! I am writing up some
notes for you. I will send them
with your Christmas card.
But for now I would like to ask you what
you think of the video I sent you, the TV special--GILLES DELEUZE AND THE SOLID
GOLD DANCERS. Can you believe it
made it prime time?
You really should have known, Thom.
E.
III.121. To be an academic is to be a priest of the Enlightenment.
III.123. Helleslicht tells Hui-Ling that his ideas concerning
literature are close to Art for art's sake.
Close. I believe this is to
say that he would always put forward Art without a sake. Am I right here?
For there are so many sakes taken up as standards--and made standards
for art, which thus becomes a standard--that one is led to forsake them
altogether. Art when it is art
rather takes up the artist and others, and this taking up it does not do even
for the sake of art.
III.126. Max Jacob. Each of his poems is a ritual in
which language is allowed to gather a certain amount of reference, but in which
finally, after the cattle are all in the works, so to speak, a most violent and
hilarious vengeance is taken on the signifieds and their presumption. A virile slaughter takes place for the
sake of the hard rhythm that herded these cattle in to begin with.
Max Jacob was the high priest of this ritual fury, the officiant who
knew when to pull the cord, who pulled the cord precisely when the axe was to
fall, and only when it could fall to the most valuable effect. An economist of the sacred values of
words as they gather. A priest with
the most delicate sense of the time for the sacrifice: not merely the week or
day, but the instant.
III.131. Johnny Fragment Seed
III.132. Before the impact, there came, with oratory, the epoch of
the urge toward totality, of parades and collective cults, the epoch of
revivals, or turns to the past, the epoch of history.... Upon impact, however, an unexpected
calm made itself felt. Shards of
glass tinkling to a halt, the glint of a movie-prop sun--it all seemed so easy,
hardly enough to be sinister. The
non-epoch lorded it everywhere, suddenly, with a styrofoam fist.... Even the past seemed to some to have
bobbed to the surface, as if it too were made of this same light stuff. The ears of others registered a
terrible rumbling, a stirring and plotting at the root of things, and their
mouths remained silent, their hands inconspicuous and waiting.... The races performed a medley of
carnivals and pageants, beamed across the hemispheres in the guise of holiday
or uprising, almost strictly Sunday affairs however, for during the week the
mutations continued at a....
III.133. Through my Tempe two brooks trickle softly. Bees alight on hyacinth and fuchsia,
and butterflies flutter by fragrant lilac. There is a grove of apples, and one of sweet lychee. I recline on tufts of soft grass, in
the shade. A huge black hawk
surveys the whole. There is a
harem of Japanese air hostesses.
You see? I'm not so hard to please.
III.134. Would one rather find three consecutive tablets or five
tablets whose texts are unconnected?
Or are all the texts connected?
Or rather are no texts connected?
Would one rather find the three or the
five?
The former is more significant, but is it
more desirable?
There are those who would rather find a
hundred broken shards than seven consecutive tablets.
There are those who would rather watch a
sparrow flit from place to place.
III.135.
The gesture of the eye watching
another.
The gesture of the mouth in
uproarious laughter.
The gesture of the hand inscribing
marks.
The gesture of the ear silent on a
moonlit volcano.
The gesture of the eye puzzling over
traces.
The gesture of the sinews grasping
furiously to snap the bonejoints of pale Eros.
And the non-gesture of the one
adrift, gritted teeth, in [ ].
III.136. Scriptive Abbey. The monks and nuns are of a stunning physical beauty. They live as a co-operative, each
however with his or her own room.
Their bodies are covered with texts from the Book of Madison, tattooed
upon them in cuneiform script.
They are dedicated to amours, study and prayer.
There are three tattoo-scribes who work in
the entrance hall--the Roman alphabetic transliteration fully legible on each
of their six wrists. The various
pictographs or ideographs that come to be used in the increasingly scriptive
text will be translated over the rest of their bodies which over time will
become reference works.
Those who come to read our text pay by the hour, and must decipher it as
they will, the reference works being called up to the individual rooms by
patrons for an added fee. The
religious pay their way being read.
Of course there will be bodies of text
preferred by each patron, either for the text itself or for the ensemble of the
book as it gathers the text.
Patrons will have to make appointments with each book to be read, and
books cannot be taken out.
With each generation the task of this
reading becomes more difficult, as the script becomes more scriptive. Patrons must then arrange to meet with
an older book so as to corroborate their reading of the text under
scrutiny. The text as a spoken
word is held in the keeping of scribes and the religious, who may, it is true,
eventually lose it themselves.
Such employment would hardly succeed in
America at present, though the abbey or bibliothque or brothel may work in
Paris, Berlin, or Tokyo. The book
needs relatively few hours of availability in order to pay its keep, and can
spend the time thus gained in study, amours and prayer.
Many a book will not allow him- or herself
to be handled before he or she has been well read.
NB: Prospective books have no choice of
what text or texts they are made.
The tattoo-scribe chooses to copy what and where he or she will. The full text of the Book of Madison
must be preserved--i.e. legible--in the library at all times.
Je m'adresse Batrice Andr-Leickmann,
Jean-Louis de Cnival, Jean Bottero, Christine Ziegler, Ake Sjoberg,
vos tudiants, aux parisiens choisis: j'ai besoin d'artistes de tatouage, de jeunes
hommes et femmes dvots, d'une grande maison pas loin du centre-ville, d'un
traducteur, et de votre collaboration dans la scriptivit continuelle et
progressive du Livre de Madison, i.e. je vous prie de m'emmener Paris pour
tudier l-bas. --Eric Mader-Lin
III.137. petites philauties couillonniformes petites philatelies
cuniformes
III.139. The late mystic is one who knows that death's cold semen
holds all the sparks.
I am an early mystic: I will not give up
my object. I will laugh it into
flames. A Phoenix.
The aural as tactile. The Word made flesh.
A BIT OF THE GAY SCIENCE
III.140. They attack me because I quote Cosmo di
Madison's religious and social views as if I believed them to be
admirable. They attack me as if I believed
his laughing and maniac violence to be something admirable, something worthy of
our attention and thus respect.
And, well, I make no bones about it: I admit from the start that not
only is Cosmo di Madison my best friend, he is at times almost my hero. They really can't believe I am
"serious" in this: a reaction I am used to by now, particularly from
earnest liberals and PC hipsters, for there is hardly anyone among them in tune
with my own notion of seriousness.
They insist dully that Cosmo di Madison is "crazy," leaning on
the usual polemical value in that measly assertion, and confident, of course,
that we are all quite sure about the nature of crazies and craziness, as sure,
say, as we are of our own sane nature.
And then their argument contra Cosmo takes that most ridiculous and
hypocritical turn, the kind of turn one expects from sloganeers, activists,
intellectuals. They reiterate
that Cosmo is sexist, nationalist, and imperialist. I
point out that he is no feminist, true.
But, I continue: You are all thoroughly soaked! You have just made a point of labeling
him crazy, as if this discounted him from the realm of the serious. And now, suddenly, you are onto his
politics, which politics you consider a serious matter, as is obvious by the
grave faces you pull as you bring it up.
But tell me, please: how is it you expect a madman to be PC?
And I point out something to the whole
table of them--whining clich mongers and sandbox Stalinistas all--something of
which I am proud, a fine little barb, which is both fine and yet easy enough
for even "serious" people to understand. I say: Just because so many PC people are mentally ill
doesn't mean you can expect the mentally ill to be PC. It's a logical problem you've fallen
into, an understandable one, here in Madison at least, as there's such
tremendous overlap between the two groups: the mentally ill and the politically
committed. After all, isn't it
true that the institutions responsible for these two groups gaze upon each
other over a small distance of water: the Humanities buildings of the
University of Wisconsin-Madison, and the inpatient buildings of Mendota Mental
Health Central?
III.141.
Recently, in Stillwaters Pub, I overheard a young American woman, probably
in the last couple years of college, engaging in a most fascinating kind of
literary criticism. She seemed to
be concerned with both deprecating certain important writers and pointing out
to the others at her table that, in fact, each of the writers in question
simply wrote the same thing over and over: their writing was just all the same thing. I was drunk as I listened to her, and her speech came to me
through the clinking of glasses and the din of Stillwaters Pub almost as if her
literary critical method were founded on a sort of fugue structure. As follows:
All those Dostoyevsky characters--they're always
killing people and then repenting.
Finally they end up going to Siberia. Hummph.
They're either doing that or they're gambling all
the time. They're gambling or
having fits. What's that
called? Epilepsy?
They have epileptic fits, they drink until they
can't walk, gamble, have more fits, murder people, repent, and finally they all
end up going to Siberia! And
Dostoyevsky is a great classic!
And those Kafka characters: they're so
passive. They don't do
anything. Finally they turn into
cockroaches.
She went on and on like this--I remember she also spoke
of Shakespeare and Dickens--and it led me to wonder what it would be like if
she were to write a history of world literature. I think the Department of Comparative Literature should find
her and commission this history.
But it won't happen, I know.
Such projects--worthwhile projects--in short: projects discovered by
me--never get
proper funding.
Her book would be on the short side, and
it would be called: From Sumer to the Postmoderns: It's All the Same Thing.
III.142.
Just before closing time, at the bar at Amy's, a biological
anthropologist was filling me in on the recent debates concerning early Homo
sapiens. A rather silly fellow drinker lamented
that writing hadn't been invented in those early ages, for if it had
been--"We could read the literature of early and proto-man, using this
literature as our main means of study." I came up with the plan to write a Homo neanderthalis spy novel--a sentimental kind of
production--and in my drunkenness I even discoursed about a rough plot. Surely the novel would be a smash hit
with biological anthropologists, and surely as well there'd be a movie and I'd
end up rich.
But now, sobered up, I wonder how the
field of pre-history would look had writing been invented back when my fellow
drinker suggested. Of course, we
wouldn't be calling it pre-history: that's the most obvious difference. But what else? Suddenly I have a vision, for
certainly, had there been proto-Homo sapien writers, literary scholars would
long since have entered this field of study--this field now safely known as
pre-history. And what would be the
result?
I realize--with a pit in my stomach, with
a lump in my throat--that the problem of the periodization of early and
proto-Homo sapiens would be solved in an entirely different manner, and that complex divisions
would suddenly arise where previously there had been only bones. Were one to look into a textbook on early man, one would
probably--horror!--encounter something like the following: Paleolithic--Mesolithic--Neolithic--New
Neolithic--Paleolithicism--High Postlithic--Late High Postlithic--New
Lithic--Off Lithic--Off Off Lithic.
And so on.
III.145. THE GOOD SOLDIER--in which the novel of the
late Mr. Ford is summarized for the student through a tiny sketch on narrative
technique. The best of life
was in the womb: you can be sure of it.
After that it had been one false lead after another. Ah, those idyllic days!
There was one problem I need to
acknowledge, for I would now be known as a poet of the first rank were it not
for this. In the womb I was wont
to pass my days writing poetic verses: rondeaux, sestinas, most of an epic, a
sonnet sequence. Having no tools
with which to write the verses down, I was compelled to commit them to memory,
so as to be able to publish them post-natally. But alas! After
all the work I had composing and memorizing them, the shock of birth itself
proved so traumatic that I lost every last trace of what had come before. I did not anticipate this: for how was
I to know what was to come? I am
thus known as a third-rank poet by those few who even call me a poet, all of
them, needless to say, post-natal acquaintances.
III.146.
During the last decade of the 20th century thousands upon millions of
young people worldwide gathered to march under a haddock hung upon a long
pole. But no, it is not true. They wouldn't even gather round the
haddock.
And so we went from there.
III.147.
Ivan tells me of when he started to be Ivan, and why he is Ivan. He was in New York for the first time,
and saw a little blonde girl in a bus window, an absolutely darling and
curly-haired little blonde girl of about five years. Ivan was gazing at the girl, delighted by her. And finally, the girl was looking at
Ivan too. She was like Shirley
Temple, though blonder and more darling.
The girl became more and more fascinated
by Ivan, so that her attention was for him alone.
And then, as the bus began to pull away,
the little girl suddenly scowled furiously at Ivan--"almost as if she were
in some great pain"--and then backed-up her sudden scowl by meanly
flipping him the bird, her little fist rigid against the bus window. Can you imagine it!
Her scowl, her little fist, the little
finger sticking out the top of her clenched fist--all of it held steady as the
bus moved slowly out of sight.
After telling the story Ivan laughed, then
stopped laughing and looked round as if perplexed by the presence of the others
reading or chatting in the upstairs of the caf.
"And so after that I was Ivan,"
he summed up in a sort of pensive confusion. "From that moment on. You know?"
I didn't then tell Ivan the thought his story provoked
in me. Perhaps it was because my
thought was rather imprecise at the time.
I know now that it was something like the following:
Ah, I too must change into
Ivan! I too must change my
name--to Ivan. Now that I think on
it, I can say that I would even like us to become, all of us, eventually, a
whole city of Ivans!
For such, Reader, is the Most High Delicacy of our
humor and our terror--our constant, pained wonderment in face of each other.
III.148. Ulamo: the Message Bearer. . . . . My name is Ulamo. I have carried these messages for four great Kings. I am well retired for a bearer; nearly
all of me is covered with writing.
Most do not last till my age, but die in mid-journey. As for me, I rest here off the court,
cared for by children of the servants, fed well, bathed often.
My forehead was my first message, to the
King in Arbin. My cheeks, my back,
my arms and belly and legs bear messages sent over decades. I cannot read them, and most of them,
when they were sent I didn't know their import.
Now in my age I have found the time to be
told what all of my messages mean, and I have had the leisure to memorize
them. I am often taken into the
court to be read: for of my messages I have the most responses written clearly
next to them.
There are only five of us here: five
that have made it so far.
I have borne my messages well,
careful at every crossroads, always sure to show the banner no matter what men
I found myself with.
I have been copied into the court library
on hemp skins, and onto the skins of animals well-preserved. I am all used up, as you see, from my
head to my feet.
I have borne much of great import in my
life, and have been much ventured.
What, then, do you want to hear from
me? Do you want to hear the
messages? Or do you want to hear
of my many journeys?. . .
THE COMPLETE LITERARY WORKS OF
PUMPKINPUSS
III.150. Editor's
Introduction. Most of us knew Elizabeth Zechel as a
talented painter of tortured bodies and slabs of meat. Those who didn't know her painting knew
her as a caf wit of the first order, whose jibes and antics did much to keep
at least one Madison caf from sinking into the humdrum impersonality favored
by customer service amateurs.
Well...
Up until now, scarcely any of us knew
anything of Elizabeth's poetry, and unfortunately the few poems I've managed to
collect here can only hint at the range and scope of her work. Well...
In short, this edition is the best I can
do, having gathered what work of hers I could before her recent flight to New
York and art school. We will miss
her terribly, for she was truly, as Cosmo di Madison remarked, "the iciest
of pumpkins." --E.M.-L.
III.151. Ms.
Zechel's Only Known Letter. --[The following
letter was addressed to the editor and his wife sometime during June,
1993. Ms. Zechel was in Madison,
the addressees were with family in Taiwan.]--
Pumpkins-- I'm writing you
from my little Cart-House --or my
little House-Cart --on
Campus--selling my little rolls and muffins --and thought of you--
--So I am in my little house and all of
these little girls have been walking by--thousands of little 16-17-18-year-old
little girls --and they really
really bother me --I stick my
tongue out at them--and they giggle and pull their hair --I want to frighten
them --but I need a bigger
tongue --so I throw straws at
them --and they run--
--I dyed my hair blue --Okay, no I didn't --it's red --No --black
actually --yes yes
black-black-black --black
hair --black eyebrows --I was after that mysterious Audrey
Hepburn look --but I looked more
like Anne Frank --It made me
sad --so I changed it back to a
soft dusty blonde --La La --Well!--
I'm reading Dostoyevsky's White Nights and The House of the Dead --He's such a depressing little man --It made me sad
--but I'm knitting a scarf
--Dwell
[Here the letter continues on paper bags. --Ed.]
I'm in the cart!
A box --cart-box. --box-cart. --It's small and little and small and I have no more
coffee!! La La La
by myself
So I have 8 thousand projects going on--actually 2
drawings and 1 2 3--4 paintings half-finished --my apartment is filled with half-finished stuff --I should have a show of half-finished
stuff --so anyway --little Jamie stopped by my little
cart --he was sad --so I gave him a cookie --His Bimbo broke up with him --actually --it's the same Bimbo that Dave had the hots for --well well well --and--apparently--Allison is back from
Italy --La La --and has also broken up with her
man-boy --boy-man --well well --and our little Jamie thinks she's pretty cute --so hmmm --So apparently Steep and Chew has a new supervisor --from the outside world --and everyone is a bit miffed about
that --fancy that-- Nancy's pissed at Mark --and at Dave --Bleh Bleh
--Dean's pissed at Kathleen
--I don't believe Sharon's pissed but you never can be sure --everyone is just pissy pissy
pissy --and what do you know about
that --really --one has to be pissed at something --it's not natural for people to be happy --pisses me off to see happy fucking
babies --they're not really happy
you know --It's a lie --lies --lies under their dreadlocks and beards --under their drippy tie-dyes --in their fucking soy milk --Lies! --Lies! --Just
wait another 3 to 5 years --wait
and see all these greenpeace guppies down in their own pissiness --They'll explode! Beads and hair flying everywhere!
I await your return with muffins in my
hair --I'm growing Basil --we're all excited
with hope-- Pumpkinpuss
Editor's Note: This letter was written to the editor
nearly two months after Ms. Zechel had been fired from the caf ("Steep
and Chew") for being rude to customers, and nearly two weeks before the
editor, overseas, would return to discover that he himself had been fired from
the caf in absentia for being rude to customers. Ms. Zechel had in the meantime acquired a situation selling
bakery goods to university students from a cart, or "cart-house."
Of particular interest in this letter is
the break inaugurated on page 2 by the word "Dwell" (see
photocopy). How are we to read
this break? Is it meant to call
attention via Heidegger to the writer's "unpoetic dwelling" in the
cart-house, to her knowing, somewhat bitter lack of a more suitable
situation--be this either in a stark Bavarian farmhouse or upon a rocky
Mediterranean crag la Hyperion?
Is the word somehow, with its graphic drop into the large black dot, a
reference to Joyce's passage of the splotchy "roc's auk's egg"? Further, what are we to make of the
fact that the letter, once resumed, is not on writing paper, as are the first
two pages, but is scribbled rather on white paper bags--bags presumably
intended for cookies and muffins?
I raise these questions as perhaps being of interest to scholars. I am well aware that any eggy
certainties would at this point be premature. E.M.-L.
[Note: The manuscripts in the editor's possession
are printed here word for word.
Ms. Zechel considered some of these poems unfinished, as indicated.]
III.152.
Unfinished --eek.
Bellyhouse bagboys
copies of junkskin
cold pricks
and pure eye
ruin the milk with fingerfun
and vaseline smears
Behind the house
given over barefoot
scotch
all sweetness and light
with downey heads
dressed in gauze and latex
Soft toys
dividing untimely unions of silky spots
between
forehead and thigh
III.153.
Unfinished--
I'm very focused
in a natural sweet kind of way
oooh baby
groaning over your stack
A nearsighted case
makes me real irritable
bitten off bimbo
right over your nose
with natural sweetness
singin
head to the ground
chompin on grass
fallin back on a bit of raw glass
this man's gettin a bargain ya know
Bleh Bleh
III.154.
(My finest verse --bleh)
There once was an imp
Who lived in a sink
So many miles away
On top of a hill
Far from the mill
He sang his heart away
For though he was safe
In the sink he did live
It was only of grass and clay
And the rains did come
He sucked his thumb
And was washed away
Down
through
the
drain.
Bleh.
III.155.
Scraped my knee on the racks after this conversation I
saw.
Realizing my psychopathic ambition
I presume damage
and walk home.
My buzzing innocence attracts naked men.
2 in a corner
3 in a hole
soft white on my back.
As rows of crimes were committed
I watched holding a finger
and left you fucking in the park.
I pass your house at 4.
Sit holding an orange at 5.
At 6
a damaged hallucination
sold
cheap and thin
after one more bloodletting
and a couple of shitty nights
of raw beauty
sitting there
all in 8 minutes.
Nothing tasted so sweet.
Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com
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