Royally Screwed


How many Bush Administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?  




1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed;


2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;


3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;


4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for the Bush way of changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;


5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for a new light bulb;


6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the burned out light bulb with a floodlit banner reading "Mission Accomplished";


7. One to fire the janitors in charge of changing light bulbs and to give the job to people who've never seen a light bulb;


8. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush fired the janitors and ignored the advice of electricians on how to change light bulbs;


9. One to viciously smear No. 7;


10. One surrogate to campaign on TV and around the country on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along, while his Democratic opposition has never touched a light bulb;


11. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.


Another possible answer is NONE, as in: 


"Nothing is wrong with our light bulb; its conditions are improving every day.  Any reports of its lack of light are just lies concocted by the liberal media. That light bulb is serving its purpose honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect.  Why do you hate freedom?"







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