Cows moo, dogs bark, sheep bleat, horses neigh, donkeys bray, cats
meow, ducks quack, roosters crow, lions roar, wolves howl, ants are quiet, pigs
grunt, elephants trumpet, hyenas laugh, hens cackle, llamas are usually quiet,
moths are very quiet, crows caw, pigeons coo, mice squeak, trout are quiet,
moles are quiet, chameleons are quiet, bears growl, oxen low, whales sing,
salamanders are quiet, stag beetles are quiet, bass are very quiet, owls hoot,
crickets chirp, parrots talk, impala are quiet, manatees are quiet, haddock are
excruciatingly quiet, snails are quiet, lobsters are quiet; snakes do not hiss,
but are quiet; centipedes are quiet; sloths are quiet; porcupines resist all
our efforts at communication: they are quiet; dace are quiet; salmon are quiet;
earthworms refuse to tell us what they know: they are quiet; flounder are
quiet; termites are quiet; after all our coaxing the mayflies remain quiet;
hedgehogs are quiet; geckoes are quiet; both the carrot and the stick have
proven of no avail: walleyed pike persist in a dogged and perverse silence that
apparently nothing will break.
* * *
From: Ryu Makoto
To: Eric Mader-Lin
Subject: SLOTH
Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 07:50:39
+0000 (GMT)
Dear Eric,
I already knew that sloth(s) were
quiet.
I vant to be left alone....
Drew Sloth
***
From: Eric Mader-Lin
To: Ryu Makoto
Subject: sloth(s)
Drew:
Yes, Herr Sloth, your
parenthetical (s) raises a question I had--not about your being left alone but
about the plural of sloth. Is it "sloths" or "sloth"?
Does one write: "A herd of sloth slowly took over the mall" or
"Three sloths together are slower than one by itself"?
This is a sincere question.
My unabridged dictionary doesn't give a plural.
Eric
***
From: Ryu Makoto
To: Eric Mader-Lin
Subject: sloth
Eric,
Two sloths were hanging from a
tree
Said A to B, Please let me be!
Sloth B replied,
I thee defy
to tell me whether we should lie
in cloth or clothes
as sloth or slothes.
It seems to me, said A to B,
if goose are geese
then, hanging loose,
we should be "sleaze."
If we are called
"edentate" beasts
Then shouldn't we be pluralized
like "teeth"?
One slooth, two sleeth?
And you must take care
When talking to a bear.
A pack of bears, when very wroth,
Are oft referred to as "one
sloth."
Too bad the plural of toe is
never "tee."
For we have sometimes two toes,
sometimes three.
If then you take a two-toed sloth
to tea
Could two hold up the cup as well
as three?
Dear me!
With a Lear in your direction,
If you can't Poet, toe it,
Drew
You can frame this by the way...
royalties due next month. No
sincere answer available. My American Heritage is mute on the topic.
***
From: Eric Mader-Lin
To: Ryu Makoto
Subject: sloth(s)
Three-toed
Tree-hugging crank,
Sloth sleuth tunes lute
--Loud clank--
Dodges plural,
Pulls poetic rank:
Another toothless
Slowly Learing prank
Eric
Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com
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