The Soundbites that Got Us There:
An Iraq War Catechism
February 24, 2006
By Eric Mader (In
memory of Flann O'Brien)
Q: What kind of loving people are we?
A: A peace-loving people.
Q: And who are you either with or against?
A: Us.
Q: And what is it that we did not start?
A: This war.
Q: And besides a time, in what of our choosing will it be ended?
A: A place.
Q: And what must we never forget of September 11, 2001?
A: The lessons.
Q: And what sort of document will we never seek in order to defend our
country?
A: A permission slip.
Q: And what kind of organization of evil are they clearly part of?
A: An axis.
Q: And how are we not going to sit by while the terrorists continue developing
chemical weapons?
A: Idly.
Q: And after all, this was a man who did what to his own what?
A: Gassed his own people.
Q: And besides his own people, who else did he try to kill?
A: My Dad.
Q: And in addition to shock, what other word describes the force by
which we will strike them?
A: Awe.
Q: And after we have routed them, with what kind of arms are they sure
to greet us?
A: Open ones.
Q: And with what else will they welcome us?
A: Flowers.
Q: And what kind of walk will it be?
A: A cake walk.
Q: And after our troops have entered Baghdad, what kind of mission will
that be?
A: A mission accomplished.
Q: And what kind of intelligence did Democrats and critics have in
relation to that seen by the administration?
A: The same.
Q: And residual what of Saddam's regime are behind this insurgency?
A: Elements.
Q: And what kind of elements besides make up this insurgency's core?
A: Foreign ones.
Q: And what sort of message is it that we don't want to send our troops?
A: The wrong one.
Q: So what must we do with the course?
A: Stay it.
Q: And we began this war in order to make Iraq into what kind of
nation?
A: A free and democratic one.
Q: And we will not quit until we have achieved our what?
A: Our goals.
Q: And in addition to the hearts of the Iraqi people what else are we
eventually going to win?
A: The minds.
Q: And what kind of accident is it when a wedding party gets bombed or children
get crushed under falling rubble?
A: A regrettable one.
Q: And what sort of damage is it that causes those kinds of deaths?
A: Collateral.
Q: And what sort of apples were responsible for the abuse of detainees
in Abu Ghraib?
A: A few bad ones.
Q: And what continues to improve on the ground?
A: Conditions.
Q: And in how long a period was Rome not built?
A: A day.
Q: And though you can run, what is it you can't do?
A: Hide.
Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com
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