Facing the Tough Question
A Disassociated Press Editorial, January 4, 2006
By Eric Mader
"How much power should they have?" asks the current Newsweek cover.
As soon as I saw it there on the rack, I had to pause a moment and
ponder it seriously: How much really?
It's true that over the
years I've been a trenchant critic of nearly everything done by the Bush
administration. But still, the
fact remains, we are in a time of war, and there really are some very
frightening organizations out there who'd like nothing better than to kill as
many of us as possible. So how
much power should we, as responsible Americans, give this president and
vice-president in the current situation?
If we are indeed
responsible citizens, I think we need to be able to overcome the partisan
divide between Democrats and Republicans and at least give these two men the
benefit of the doubt. In difficult
circumstances, facing a cunning new kind of enemy, they are in fact responsible
for defending us. We need to
decide as a nation where we should strike the balance between security and
civil liberties.
After considering the
issues and going over in my mind all that's happened during the recent five
years, I'd have to say that Bush and Cheney should definitely be given a certain
amount of power to deal with things as they see fit.
They should be given the
power, for example, to decide what the soup of the day should be: whether it
should be chicken vegetable or split pea.
They should also have the
power to negotiate with the different competing companies when it comes to
replacing their sign. I'd
definitely give them the power to choose the design and colors on the sign and
how much they want to spend.
When it came to first
opening their diner, I think they have the right and should have the power to
choose on which highway off-ramp they'd be likely to do the best business.
Bush and Cheney together
should also have the power--though I'm not sure how well they'd manage it--to
hire and manage a service staff.
They should have the power
to decide which country western or Bible Belt radio station they want to play
during business hours--though again I suspect their decision here may not be
the best either for the sanity of the wait staff or for long-term profits. Nevertheless, I think they should be
given this power.
In terms of defense, one
could argue that they should have the power to keep a baseball bat, maybe even
an aluminum one, behind the counter.
A loaded weapon, however, is another issue altogether, one that we'd
have to consider in light of the problems these two seem to have with following
the law. I myself would opt
against given either of them a gun license.
Both men should definitely
be given the power to unzip their own zippers when they need to piss in the
diner's men's room or indeed even when one of them might decide to piss against
the side of his truck under the moonlight in the parking lot. It's his truck, after all, it's in his
parking lot, and this is America.
After looking at the current
Newsweek cover and thinking things
through a bit, these are some of the powers I'd be more than willing to give
Bush and Cheney.
But as for giving either of
these arrogant arsewipes the power to decide when and how they might want to
ignore the Constitution or American law; or if or when they might want to lock
you or I up incommunicado without the right to a lawyer; or when or why they
might want to decide to start making dossiers of my email, phone calls, reading
habits and love life--as for powers like these, no, I wouldn't be willing to
offer them. To be perfectly
honest, the threat to American lives from Muslim terrorism would have to be
about five times what it is now
before I'd even consider allowing such powers.
George W. Bush is the American
president, after all, not the American king. If he and his administration are not going to respect
American laws and norms, he should be dealing with something a little less
challenging.
I'm a generous man. Letting these two run a diner seems to
me more generous than giving them the prison time they probably deserve. George 'n Dick's Country Kitchen might
be the answer to both our international woes and our Constitutional crisis.
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Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com
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