[This gruesome story was
(somewhat) written by the An-Ho Animal Park Class, a Thursday night class from
which I learned the importance of carrying aspirin in my bookbag. --E.M.-L.]
Hans and Gunther Broch were born on the
same day. They are twins. They are also vampires.
They left Europe to come to Taiwan. They wanted to drink some Taiwanese
blood.
The brothers had many
tricks to bring victims to their castle in Yangmingshan. The best was when the victims were
young and foolish. Then it was
easy.
They decided to have
a fashion show in the castle. They
invited some Taipei students and one stupid English teacher named Eric to come
to their fashion show. They used the
fashion show to lure these fools into their trap.
There were many things to prepare. In the morning the vampire twins worked
outside. Hans cleaned the
cemetery. Gunther took the black
cats, bats and snakes and brushed their teeth. Then Hans taught the owls to sing some garbage truck
songs. He loved the garbage truck
music in Taiwan.
In the afternoon the twins worked inside
the castle. Hans cleaned the black
leather sofas and dusted the coffins and other furniture. Gunther set up the stage for the
fashion show. He also showed the
models the clothes for the show and told them what to do. Hans and Gunther hired the models from
a modeling agency in Taipei. They
were very tall and beautiful, and the clothes were all very cool.
Hans filled a big silver
bowl with tomato juice and brought out some spider cookies from the
refrigerator. Everything was ready
for the show.
The foolish guests arrived at the castle
at 8:00 p.m. There was Joe,
Johnny, Kevin, Rita, Jessica, Sonia, Amy, James, Sharon, Ellen, and Emily. And there was their stupid teacher
Eric.
As the guests walked through the cemetery,
Joe saw a flying head.
"Did you see that?" Joe
said. "I saw a flying
head! Did you see it!"
"Did you forget to take your medicine
today?" Johnny asked. Some of
the other students laughed and chanted:
Joe was a small and
crazy boy
With hair as black as
ink;
His pills he took
three times a day
And swam in the
bathroom sink.
"But it's true!" Joe said. "There was a flying head!"
"Listen to those birds," Sonia
said. "They sound like the
garbage trucks."
"This place is weird," Rita said. "Let's get to the door
quickly."
Hans greeted the guests at the door to the
castle and led them into the main hall.
Some of the guests took food from the table, while others sat down on
the black sofas around the catwalk.
Then Hans and Gunther came out onto the
stage together.
"Welcome to the Spring Fashion Show
for 2002," Gunther said into the microphone. "We hope you enjoy yourselves. But before the show begins we have a
little surprise for you."
"That's right, Gunther," Hans
said. "We want to make our
guests feel at home."
"So we welcome your favorite singer
onto the state-Jim."
"Oh, no!" Jessica said. "Jim? Jim from our class?"
Yes, it was. Jim came out onto the stage and sang his song, the only song
he knows:
Jim's Song
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived.
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you baby,
And if it's quite all right,
I need you baby
To warm a lonely night.
I love you baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh pretty baby,
Now that I found you. Stay.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare. . . .
"I think I will
cry," Rita said. "I'm sooo sick of this
song."
"Yeah!" Joe cheered, standing up
from his seat. "Yeah,
Jim! Ee bai wan! "
"Take your medicine," Amy said.
"I can sing this song better,"
Eric said.
Finally Jim's song was finished, and the
fashion show began.
There were four models in the show:
Maggie, Karen, Tina, and Cindy.
The music began and the first model, Maggie, stepped out onto the stage.
She was wearing a low-cut black top, a
grey miniskirt and a grey jacket.
She strutted down the catwalk past the guests, then turned around.
"She was looking at me," Johnny
said. "Did you see?"
"Shut up," Sharon said.
Then Karen came out. She was wearing a tight purple tube top
and silver shorts.
"That's pretty cool," Emily
said.
"I want to buy one," Amy said. "I wonder if the tube top is very
expensive."
"I want to buy one too," Johnny
said.
"Bian tai," Kevin said.
Karen turned around at the end of the
catwalk and strutted back to the curtain.
"These clothes are really cool,"
Sharon said.
Then Tina came out on stage. She wore a low-cut sleeveless pink top,
a white jacket and a tight white skirt.
She strutted to the end of the catwalk.
"Never stop my love!" Joe cried
out.
"What is your cell phone
number?" Johnny yelled.
"Shut up!" Ellen said. "You are ruining the show."
"These cookies are delicious,"
Eric said. "What is in
them?"
"I have a skirt like that at
home," Johnny said. "I
wear it on Sundays."
"Huh?" Emily asked. "You really wear a skirt?"
"Yes, I do," Johnny said. "I think it's cool. But my mom never lets me wear it to school."
"Bian tai," Kevin said.
"Bian tai," James said.
Cindy was the next model to come out. She wore beige slacks, a white jacket and
a violet transparent tube top.
"Nobody could wear that on the
street," Jessica said.
"It's too spicy."
"Did you see?" Johnny said. "She was looking at me too. I think they all love me."
"She was laughing at you,"
Sharon said.
"She wasn't," Johnny said. "She was smiling. She loves me."
The models came out again with different
clothes on, and then a third time.
And then they all came out at the end with the designer, an ugly little
man with white hair who looked like a bat.
Everyone clapped as the models and
designer walked down the catwalk.
Then they went back behind the stage and Hans and Gunther came out
again.
"Well," Gunther said, "that
was an excellent collection for spring, don't you think, Hans?"
"Yes, it was. I'm glad we invited this designer. And the models were so beautiful, don't
you think?"
"Ee bai wan!" Joe yelled.
"If anyone in the audience would like
to talk with the designer or the models," Gunther said, "you can meet
them back stage."
"Cool," Emily said.
"That's right," Hans said. "We have a special party
arranged. You're all invited. Just go back behind the stage curtain,
follow the hall a bit, and you'll see a door on the left. Enter the door and the hallway will
lead to our special party room."
"Let's talk to the models," all
the boys said.
"Let's go look at some of the
clothes," the girls said.
Everyone got up from the sofas and went
behind the stage. After following
the hallway a bit, they came to a door on the left. They went in.
There was another hallway with different doors.
"Which door leads to the party
room?" Eric asked.
"Let's try this one," Kevin
said. "Come in here."
"No," Sonia said. "They said to turn left. It's this way."
Some of the people followed Sonia, and
some followed Kevin. But every
door just led to more hallways.
And every hallway led to more hallways! Soon the foolish guests were separated into five different
groups, and they were all lost in the vampires' maze.
"Heh heh heh," Gunther said to
Hans, watching the guests through hidden observation cameras. "They really are perfect victims. They are total fools!"
"Soon we can go bite them," Hans
said. "I think it will be
easy."
"I can't wait," Gunther
said. "I'm very thirsty. I haven't had any blood for three
days."
The vampires waited another fifteen
minutes. Soon all the guests were
separated from each other. They
called out each other's names, each person lost in a separate part of the maze.
"Let's go," Hans said.
In different parts of the labyrinth there
were trap doors that opened down from the ceiling. Using the trap doors, the twins could easily jump down into
any part of the labyrinth.
"Let me try one first," Gunther
said. "I will bite that boy
Kevin."
Kevin was yelling out, "Hello! Where is everyone? Hey, can you hear me?"
The labyrinth seemed darker and darker and
he was scared. Suddenly Gunther
appeared. He stood behind
him.
Gunther tried to catch onto Kevin's neck,
but Kevin pulled away.
"Hey! Don't touch me!" Kevin yelled.
Keving kicked Gunther's leg and ran. He kept running, looking for an
exit. But he couldn't find any. He was very nervous. He had no good idea what to do. He could hear Gunther just behind him.
Then he saw a door. He hurried to it. But it was too late! Gunther bit into his neck and sucked
his blood. Kevin fell on the
floor. [by Sonia]
Soon after Gunther bit Kevin, Hans found
Sharon in the labyrinth.
"What are you doing here?"
Sharon said.
"I'm going to the party too,"
Hans said.
"It's great," Sharon said. "We can go together."
They walked side by side, looking for the
right door. But after thirty
minutes they still couldn't find it.
Hans said: "Let's take a rest for
five minutes."
Sharon said: "OK."
Then Hans sat down beside Sharon. He started to touch Sharon's earring.
"Your earring is really
beautiful," Hans said.
"Thank you," Sharon said,
smiling.
"Goodbye, Sharon," Hans said.
He grabbed behind Sharon's head and leaned
toward her. He bit into her neck
and sucked her blood.
"Oh!" Sharon screeched. "That feels good!"
"Yes, I'm a super vampire!" Hans
bawled out.
Sharon fell onto the floor,
unconscious. [by Johnny]
Gunther came to Joe in the labyrinth.
Joe said: "Hi, Gunther."
Gunther said: "Hi, Joe."
"I'm afraid," Joe said. "Can you tell me where the exit
is?"
Gunther said: "Yes, I can. Oh! Your earrings are very beautiful."
Joe said: "Wait a minute. I want to take my medicine."
Gunther said: "Can I see your
earrings?"
Joe said: "OK."
Gunther said: "Oh, they're
gold!"
Joe said: "Yes. But can you tell me where the exit
is?"
Then Gunther bit into Joe's neck and
sucked his blood.
Joe said: "Hey, what are you
doing! I'm not gay!" [by Jessica]
Hans came to Sonia in the labyrinth.
"Why are you here?" Sonia said.
"Because I'm very hungry," Hans
said, "and I need your help."
"But I don't have any food,"
Sonia said.
"Yes, you do," Hans said. "You have very fresh blood in your
body."
"What!" Sonia yelled. "You are crazy!"
"You are a nice girl," Hans
said, "so you will help me."
Sonia saw his sharp teeth. "No! No! Please
don't bite me!" she screamed.
"That's impossible," Hans
said. "I'm a vampire."
Hans bit into Sonia and drank her blood,
then let her fall onto the floor.
[by Joe]
Gunther came to Jessica.
"Hi, Jessica," he said.
"Huh? How do you know my name?" Jessica asked. "Nobody introduced us. And. . . and you look so strange!"
"Nothing's wrong, Jessica. Don't worry. Wow, your necklace is beautiful!"
Gunther came closer to her.
"This is a
trick!" Jessica said. "I
don't buy it. Get away!"
Jessica ran from him, but she was in a
labyrinth and couldn't find an exit.
He was behind her, catching up to her. She screamed for help, but nobody heard her. Then suddenly she crashed into
him! How did he get in front of
her!
"Ha ha ha!" Gunther said.
He pushed her up against the wall and bit
into her neck. She screamed one more time, but it was already too late. [by Emily]
After biting Sonia, Hans bit Johnny. While Hans was with Johnny, Gunther was
biting Rita. Then Gunther bit Jim
and Hans bit Amy. Amy started to
complain, but Hans said: "This is not English class, Amy. Game over."
Then Gunther and Sharon bit James. Sharon was already a vampire, and she
was thirsty.
"I want to bite him first,"
Sharon said. "Let
me!"
"Alright," Gunther said. "But I get to drink some
too."
"What are you talking about?"
James said. "Where is
everybody else? Where is the party?"
Hans and Joe bit Ellen and
Emily.
"Ee bai wan!" Joe said. "I like being a vampire. This is great."
"Help!" Emily yelled. "Help!"
And then there was their stupid teacher
Eric. When all the students had
become vampires Hans and Gunther took them to the room with the observation
cameras.
"There's your teacher," Gunther
said. "Who wants to bite
him?"
"Let's all bite him!" Rita said.
"Yeah, let's go bite him right
now," Jim said.
"I'm full," Hans said. "I can't drink any more
blood."
"Let's go," Johnny said.
And all the vampires except Hans went to
the place in the labyrinth where Eric was. And they bit him, so he became a vampire too.
All the vampires
lived in the castle with Hans and Gunther after that, and every week they
thought of new ways to attract foolish victims. They are still there now, so be careful when you go up into
the mountains. If you see a castle
in Yangmingshan, or if you see a flying head or hear singing owls, better get
away as soon as possible. You
don't want to become a vampire yourself.
February, 2003
Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com
---------
This page is at
http://www.necessaryprose.com/
---------