A Disassociated Press Report, New York, September 21, 2006
By Eric Mader
The UN General Assembly was cleared from the Great Hall of the United
Nations building in New York last night after one of the attending dignitaries,
President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, complained of the smell of sulfur in the
room. U.S. anti-terrorism
officials immediately took action to evacuate the building, for fear the smell
might indicate the presence of a bomb.
"The smell of sulfur could mean any of several explosive chemicals
that can be used in the making of a bomb," Homeland Security spokesman
Kenneth Belzebub said after the evacuation. "We had to ensure the safety of the dignitaries in
attendance."
Hugo Chavez was not long into his speech when he knit his brow and told
those listening that there was a distinct smell of sulfur around the podium he
was standing at.
Chavez continued his speech while commandos from Homeland Security's
new elite terror fighting team scaled the outside of the building in
preparation for a surprise break in and rescue operation.
At one point Chavez held up a book by American writer Noam Chomsky.
"We believe he was trying to signal to us that a terrorist attack
might be in progress," Belzebub said of the gesture. "Noam Chomsky is a professor often
known to write about terrorism. We
could see we had to act at once."
What the book had to do with the Venezuelan president's remarks however
was unclear to most Americans because Fox News, under new Special Security Directive
411, refused to translate the speech from Spanish.
Security Directive 411 protects Americans from foreigners whose remarks
may, unknown to themselves, be passing on coded messages to terrorist
organizations.
Chavez and various other dignitaries were immediately rushed from the
building and put on special high security flights back to their countries of
origin.
"Normally visiting heads of state will return to their countries
using their own national airlines," State Department spokeswoman Donna Imperium
said after the extraordinarily quick departures became known. "But this was a special
circumstance. We had to ensure
their security."
Referring to the incident, U.S. President George W. Bush later said: "We must never forget the lessons of September 11, 2001. And those lessons are that buildings in New York might suddenly be destroyed in violent explosions. It happened to the twin towers, it could happen the UN building too."
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