Bush to Americans:
"I am Still a Threat"
A Disassociated Press Report,
Washington, D.C.
March 25, 2008
By Eric Mader
Frustrated by the amount of
media attention being given the Obama-Clinton nomination contest, U.S.
President George W. Bush today reminded Americans he was still the president
and would remain so for almost a year.
"In case people haven't
noticed, my second term is not yet over," Bush said in a special televised
address from the White House. "I am still here in the Oval Office. Americans should make no mistake: I am
still a threat."
The president said that
although there were those who called him a lame duck, some ducks "have
more power than others, and I happen to be a duck that commands the world's
most powerful military machine."
Bush announced his intentions
to use that machine during his remaining months to vigorously pursue the war on
terror.
The president reminded Americans that he still had
nearly
a year left to undermine their country's standing
in the world.
"The problem in this
fight is where to go next," he said.
"The Iranians, unfortunately, are off the hook."
Bush said he and Vice President
Dick Cheney were disappointed that an Iranian front in the war was "now
all but impossible."
"We were quite
frustrated, Dick and I," he said.
"We were just getting revved up, just itchin' to call in strikes,
and then the NIE came out."
Bush referred to the National
Intelligence Estimate Report of late 2007, which declared that according to the
assessment of U.S. intelligence agencies, the Iranian government had not had an
active nuclear weapons program for some years.
"When the NIE came out,
we were faced with a dilemma," Bush said. "No new places to bomb. And that meant this ongoing focus on the mess in Iraq. So what to do? For some months, the course to take was
unclear. But I'm happy to say we
now have a plan: Aruba."
The president insisted that
new evidence pointed to a link between al Qaeda and the Caribbean island of
Aruba.
"There's a connection
here," he said, "an obvious one. For one thing, both organizations begin and end with the
letter 'a.' Think about it. Al Qaeda. Aruba."
Bush said that the island of
Aruba would need to be dealt with sooner or later, and that he was fearful any
administration following his wouldn't have the "necessary resolve" to undertake
military action.
"The fact is there's a
threat brewing down there," he said. "It would be irresponsible to
ignore it. I admit a new war might
prove a hard sell with Congress, but I intend to push for one anyway. In any case, this letter 'a' link is
probably good enough grounds for my supporters."
The president said he planned
to make Aruba the start of a whole new front in the war on terror.
"I look at the
numbers," he said. "Our
currency is weaker than it has ever been in my lifetime. All statistics indicate we're less
trusted in the world than we have ever been, period. But I've never been one for half measures. I believe more can be done."
Bush envisioned a scenario
where the American dollar would reach a third of its current value against the
euro and where Latin America would be seen as "China's backyard rather
than ours."
"So we begin military
operations against Aruba, then expand the war to Venezuela and Bolivia,"
he said. "China will get
involved in order to defend their new Latin American contracts, things will get
messy, and we'll be even more over-extended than we are now. How you like them apples?"
Bush said a new round of
American military intervention would help with the goal of "nation
building."
"With the Iraq war we've
helped build up the Iranian nation," he said. "In this new Latin American front, it will be China we
help build up. The people of
Bolivia, Venezuela, Argentina--they'll come to hate us even more, and they'll
sign even more trade deals with China."
Bush spoke of concern for his
legacy as president.
"The ball is no longer
in our hands," he said.
"We fumbled it in our first term. But we can still leave a lasting mark in history. With the months we still have in
office, I think Dick and I might be able to kick the ball well and good off the
field."
The president ended his talk
with a pointed question about the names of four Latin American countries:
"Venezuela, Bolivia, Cuba, Argentina--ever notice how they all end in
'a'? Ever notice how al Qaeda ends
in 'a' too? Ever wonder about
that?"
The Disassociated Press--Because America Doesn't End in "a"
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